Chatting Up Babes: The Crash Course
Since we’ve been old enough to like girls, we’ve all wondered how to talk to them. You too have probably wondered if you should talk dirty or sweet, if it’s better to be playful or distant, or maybe you didn’t even know where to start. If so, then listen up. You’re about to get a crash course in talking to beautiful girls.
Before we get into the conversational specifics, it’s important to explain “attractive communication.” In other words, let me decipher the age-old mystery: what do women want? Contrary to popular belief, women don’t necessarily want a “badboy” or a “nice guy” or anything in between. Women only want ONE thing from a man, which is…
That means, if you can get a woman to experience strong emotions, you understand how to talk to girls. Just imagine a beautiful woman having these sorts of emotional responses:
• Doubled over and laughing hysterically at a joke
• Playfully punching a man in the arm after he teased her about something
• Smiling devilishly as she “competes” with a man in some fun challenge (like a thumb war)
If you picture any of those scenarios, you probably picture a girl who’s attracted to the man who’s causing her to have those types of reactions. Women love to flirt because flirting gives them a rush of emotions.
So, as men, we need to make sure that when we talk to a girl that we’re appealing to her emotional side, and not her logical side. In fact, if you get too logical with a woman, she’ll think you’re boring, nerdy, and someone she sees as “just a friend.”
So let’s make sure you NEVER let that happen again by explaining how to talk to girls!
Every time there’s a poll, and women are asked what they’re looking for in a man, it’s always the same response: HUMOR. Not looks. Not status. Not even money. Humor. Every time.
That’s because laughter is the ultimate rush of emotions…she’s literally so overcome with good feelings, she has a physical reaction to it (laughter)! Thus, obviously, being funny is crucial when learning how to talk to women.
That’s easier said than done, however. Most guys confuse “being funny” with “being a comedian” or telling jokes. Humor that’s attractive to women is not the same as performing a stand-up monologue or even reciting jokes. It’s a different type of humor…
…a brand of humor I like to call “social humor.”
Unlike traditional humor, social humor is much simpler…so anyone can do it. (That’s good news for all you guys out there who are convinced you’re “not funny.”) To develop your social humor, simply look for opportunities to do the unexpected. For example:
• Say no when she expects you to say yes
• Act proud when she thinks you’re going to be embarrassed
• Draw attention to things that most guys would pretend didn’t happen
A perfect example is whenever a girl says something like, “Do you say that to all the girls?” Most guys would panic and immediately deny it. “No!” they’d stammer, “I only just said that to you!”
In situations like that, you have a great chance to apply some “social humor.” Imagine if you smirked and replied, “Not ALL the girls…only the hot ones.” This is certainly NOT the response a girl would expect…yet she can’t get upset (I mean, you did acknowledge that she’s hot!).
Unfortunately we can’t examine EVERY example of social humor in this article, yet you can learn a lot just by examining your friends with a great sense of humor. Pay attention to their timing and delivery, and see how it relates to the most important principle of social humor: saying the unexpected.
I don’t mean to sound crude, but teasing a woman really is like verbal foreplay. It drives women crazy with passion and gets them wildly attracted to you. And all from something you probably mastered when you were pulling girls’ hair in kindergarten!
Now, that’s not to say you can apply the exact same strategies you used on little Susie back on the playground with women today. Adult teasing requires a little more finesse…but only a little!
For starters, focus on “gender differences” for great teasing material. Even saying something as simple as, “You’re such a girl” after she makes a comment can work wonders.
If you want a more “sophisticated tease,” joke about something that is stereotypically girly. For instance, whenever a girl tells me she went for drinks with her friends, I’ll tease her, “Oh my God, was this like a girl’s night out thing where you sit around, drink fruity drinks, and gossip about dudes? Damn, I feel like I’m talking to a character right out of Sex and the City!” This isn’t comedy genius, but it will certainly get some flirty banter going so make sure to try it!
Most women not only like a challenge, they actually respect it. In other words, if you don’t want to be a woman’s doormat—a guy she thinks she can walk all over—then you better challenge her!
Luckily, challenging a woman is also a great way to get her emotional. What woman doesn’t love a little friendly competition? Whether it’s challenging her sense of adventurousness or just inviting her to partake in a friendly “thumb war,” girls get excited when there’s a little competition.
I once I sparked a flirty dialogue with a girl I worked with by simply challenging her to a game of tic-tack-toe in the break room. After 2 or 3 games, we made a “friendly” wager: loser has to buy the winner a round a drinks. Before either of us knew it, we were setting up a date…and all from a game of tic-tack-toe!
Keep the idea of “challenging” women on the tip of your tongue whenever you’re conversing with women and you’ll have an unlikely seduction tactic at your disposal.
If you apply these 3 principles to your conversations with women, you’ll always know “how to talk to girls” to get them to feel excited, attracted, and happy to be spending time with you. Answering the age-old question, “How do I talk to girls?” isn’t answered with lines, but instead with ideas.
With just these 3 “ideas” you have an unlimited repertoire of conversation topics that will keep you from being just another boring guy she’s forced to talk to. Rather, you’re going to become exactly what she’s looking for: a guy who can excite her emotions! So happy chatting!
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob Judge Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in Scottsdate. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. Get Coaching with Rob: https://www.tsbmag.com/private-coaching-with-rob-judge/