Quick Tips: Asking a Girl Out
Much as I love waxing philosophical on the “high concepts” of seduction and self-development, after browsing my recent archive, I realized that I haven’t been sharing any “quick tips” that can make instant improvements to your interactions with women. For the next few weeks, expect to see more applicable tips that you can mix into your social skills right now…
…and what not a better way to kick things off than looking at how you should be asking her out! A huge mistake that most guys make when asking a woman out on a date—either in person, over the phone, or on text—is that they do just that: they ask!
One little tweak I made to my game that dramatically improved my success with women was this: I stopped asking and started assuming. This sounds easier than it actually is. For most of our lives, we’re scolded whenever we “assume.” Moreover, we’re always looking to make other people feel “comfortable”—especially women we’re attracted to.
I was no different. I used to pepper women with questions before I’d even feel I COULD ask her out. Before suggesting a date, I’d have to know her favorite types of food, what her schedule looked like, and—most important of all—if she liked me. By the time I got around to actually asking her, all the sexual tension and excitement had fizzled.
Still, I was blind to my mistakes. I thought I was being “chivalrous” and “acting like a gentleman” because I was trying to show her that I was sensitive to her needs. I convinced myself I was better than all those “jerks” she was used to because I actually cared about her interests.
Ironically, what I was doing showed I didn’t care about her biggest interest of all: WHAT TURNS HER ON!
Girls care less about where you take them, what food you order, or even the day you ask them out. All they really care about is how you make them feel. Let me say that again, emphasizing the important part of that last sentence: How. You. Make. Them. Feel. Even if you take her on the “perfect” date, if she isn’t excited or swept away by the experience than “perfection” doesn’t matter. She’s not going want to go out with you again.
Think of it this way: if a woman simply wanted to do the things that she liked, she’d take herself out on a date! Not fully knowing what’s going to happen next excites a woman. Moreover, she wants to surrender herself to a strong, confident man who brings her into HIS party, HIS world. Not the other way around.
So while it may feel risky or even pushy to assume she wants to go out with you, and perhaps even more presumptuous to plan an entire date without consulting her, do it. Get in the habit of it. You AND your girl will be very happy you did.
This begins the moment you “ask her out.” I put that phrase in quotes because you’re obviously not going to be “asking” anymore. Simply say to her:
“Hey, let’s go out this Thursday. I know the best place. Wear that dress you know I love and I’ll meet you at [location] at 9.”
If she has a problem with your invitation she’ll let you know. Most of the time, the only objections women make to these sorts of assumptions are logistics: maybe she can’t meet until 9:30 or whatever.
When you start ending your invitations with a hard period rather than a tentative question mark, it may scare you at first. It takes brass balls to ask women out this way! However, once you see the amazing results from doing so, you’ll probably wonder why you were ever “asking” in the first place. After all, the first 3 letter of assume are A-S-S ;-]
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.