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When She’s a Bitch To Your Friends

You?re smitten with your new girlfriend, but you?re friends aren?t so keen on her bad attitude. She?s super sweet to you, yet has left a less than amazing impression on your friends. You need to get to the root of the problem before this causes you some serious grief.

What?s her motive?

First, you need to find out why she?s a bitch to your friends. Is it malicious, or just a case of bad social skills? Pay closer attention to how she relates to your friends and how she reacts when you talk about them. She?s well within her rights to dislike them, but maybe she?s not right for you if she?s too upfront to them about it. If you notice that she is consistently rude to their faces, and you think it?s because she outright dislikes them, it?s worth taking it up with her. Maybe she doesn?t realize how obvious she?s being, and thought she could get away with it. This gives her the option to change her behavior before it becomes a deal-breaker.

Underlying issues

Talking through it could bring up an issue you didn?t even know existed. Perhaps she has an unfortunate past with one of your friends, which might cause you to think twice about putting them together socially. Also, often women don?t like their partner?s friends because of what they represent. If your buddies are all about drinking, talking about women disrespectfully and visiting strip joints; it?s perfectly understandable that she won?t like your friends. This is a problem which you as a couple need to work out, but explain to her that that shouldn?t affect how she interacts with your friends. It?s a trust issue between the two of you and doesn?t need to result in her being rude to your friends.

Bad social skills

A possible reason she?s acting like a bitch is that she?s lacking the social skills to relate to your friends in any other way. Perhaps the only ways that she knows how to behave with men are being a bitch, and flirting. Single women rarely interact with men (other than friends, family and colleagues) in any other way- so maybe she doesn?t know what?s appropriate with a boyfriend?s friends. In this case, at least she?s not flirting with them. However, a lack of social skills with men is something that she will need to overcome. If you suspect the reason she?s rude to your friends is because she?s shy or socially inept, the last thing you should do is say something to her. This will only make her more self-conscious about the issue. Instead, try to steer her towards more positive interactions. It won?t take long before she is comfortable enough with your friends to interact with them properly.

When your friends are the problem

Don?t assume that your friends have your back in this situation. If you?ve confronted her about being rude to them and she counters that they started it, don?t automatically believe them over her just because they?ve been in your life for longer. Just because a problem arose once your girlfriend came onto the scene, doesn?t mean that she is the cause of that problem. Most people aren?t going to be outright rude to their partner?s friends without good reason, particularly at the start of a relationship. Give her the benefit of the doubt unless it becomes apparent that she?s the one with a problem.


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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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