Five Assumptions You Make About Women in Nightclubs
You’ve gone out so you can pick up, but not everyone else is there for the same reason. While you shouldn’t be discouraged from trying to get with women you meet at nightclubs- it’s probably the best place to find someone- there are a few assumptions that you might be making about women’s intentions that are tripping you up.
Women go out in groups. Out of any given group, some are bound to have boyfriends. These women aren’t there to scout for new men, but to hang out with their friends and help wing-woman their single friends. If you approach and a woman and she says she’s taken, she’s not necessarily lying. Don’t waste your time. Also, if she is lying, telling you that she has a boyfriend is a strong indicator that she takes absolutely no interest in you.
Women do go out clubbing to pick up, but you can’t assume that that’s what every woman is there for, every time. Perhaps she’s just been dumped and wants to get some attention from guys, without actually going home with one. Just because she is flirty does not mean she wants sex. Alternatively, just because she wants sex does not mean that she wants it that night. She could be out looking for men to date, rather than men to have a one-night stand with.
Ever wonder why women in nightclubs are so much better than those you encounter in other contexts? It’s because they put a hell of a lot of effort in to looking like that. Squeezing into tight dresses, bearing painful shoes and slapping on make-up makes for quite a different look than a woman might wear in the supermarket. The low lighting that is often found in nightclubs means you know even less about how she actually looks. Why is this important? If you swap numbers and meet up with her in a more everyday context, don’t be surprised that she doesn’t look exactly how she did under the strobe light.
So she’s put in a lot of effort to look that good- surely she’s wearing that outfit because she wants your attention, right? Wrong. She wants someone’s attention, but it’s not necessarily yours. More than likely, she’s dressed to keep up with her friends and get their approval. In regards to men, she might be looking to find one but that doesn’t mean that you’re the one. She might also have dolled herself up so it’s easier for her to get into clubs without waiting in line. Don’t assume that she’s gone to all that effort because she wants to get with you.
Plenty of people go clubbing and stay sober, or only drink lightly. When you’re drunk, it’s easy to assume that everyone else is too. That is not necessarily true. You might get the impression that she’s being a bitch, but you could be confusing that with sobriety. Drunk people tend not to be adept at respecting boundaries, so if you’ve been drinking and she’s sober, be mindful of overstepping her comfort zone.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/