When She Says She Loves You Too Soon
Everything is going well with the girl you’re casually seeing, but she thinks it’s going even better. She confesses that she loves you, before you feel the same. What should you do?
The worst thing you can do is tell her that you feel the same, when you don’t. It may help smooth over an awkward moment in the short term, but if you later have to confess that you weren’t being sincere, it’s going to get a whole lot more awkward. Saying it back to her without meaning it will create a tricky situation as it will make her think it’s a much more serious relationship, and she will expect more from you. Keep in mind that you have no obligation to say it back.
It’s awkward enough for her that she’s confessed her love only for you to admit you don’t share her feelings. Don’t make it even more uncomfortable for her by making a big deal over it. Treat it like it’s not a big deal, even if on the inside you are wondering what you got yourself into. Unacceptable responses include pretending you didn’t hear her, leaving immediately, or laughing at her. Freaking out about it will make her feel horrible.
You need to respond in some way, rather than ignore that she said it. Deal with it in a mature way by talking about it. Reassure her that she shouldn’t feel upset or embarrassed that she’s said it first, but tell her that you think she’s said it too soon. While she won’t be thrilled with this explanation, she will at least understand why you haven’t said it back. Be affectionate towards her so she doesn’t feel too rejected.
If you know you’re never going to get serious with her, you need to tell her before it’s too late. Her telling you that she loves you shows that she’s willing to make more of a commitment. She already sees it as a serious relationship- so she needs to know if you see it as only ever being casual. On the other hand, if you see it developing more in the future but your feelings just aren’t that serious yet, let her know. You don’t want her to leave you because she assumes you’re not interested, when all you need is a bit more time. Make sure she knows where she stands.
Once she’s said it and hasn’t gotten a favourable response, she probably won’t say it again. You don’t need to live in fear of her declaring her love again. She will most likely wait until you say it to her. But now, the pressure is on. She’ll be bating her breath waiting for you to confess your love at any intimate moment. You need to be ready to call it off if you can’t (or don’t want to) meet her expectations.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/