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Is She Embarrassed to Be With You?

Something is a little off in your relationship, but you’re not quite sure what it is. Is she ashamed to be with you? There are some warning signs that are too easy to miss until you’re looking for them.

She doesn’t want to go out

200117702-001Some people prefer to relax in their own homes rather than bother going out, but maybe there’s more to it than that. If your girlfriend shoots down every suggestion that involved being seen in public with you, it could be that she just doesn’t want to be seen with you. Similarly, if she’s affectionate behind closed doors but eschews even holding your hand in public, that’s another warning sign that she’s not comfortable being your girlfriend.

You haven’t met her friends and family

Once you’ve been together for a while, she’ll want to show you off to her other loved ones. If she avoids you meeting any of her friends and family, there are a few possibilities. She could be nervous, she could be planning to split up with you, she might not have any friends… or, she might be embarrassed of you.

She doesn’t introduce you as her partner

When she’s introducing you to new people, what does she introduce you as? If she doesn’t make it clear that you’re together, something fishy is going on. She doesn’t have to outright say that you’re her boyfriend- this can be conveyed non-verbally. If you’re in physical contact with each other, it’s pretty clear that you’re together. However, if she habitually just introduces you by name without any indication of her relationship to you, that’s a warning sign. Take the hint: she doesn’t want people to know you’re together.

She asks you to wear different clothes

If she’s judgmental towards your fashion choices, you can bet that she’s mortified being seen with you in public wearing your favorite hideous jacket. Harsh, but it’s better that she tells you her opinion rather than keep it to herself. You’re more than justified to end the relationship if you don’t appreciate her input regarding your outfits, but if it’s not a deal-breaker for you, try to figure out exactly why she is embarrassed. If it’s because you’re incapable of choosing appropriate outfits, then maybe you should let her help you make better choices. However, if she’s just being unnecessarily picky, there’s no reason you should put up with having your outfit choices vetted.

What to do

This is the sort of problem that avoids all discussion. A confrontation will need evidence. Simply asking her if she’s embarrassed to be with you will be met with a negative answer no matter what the truth is. Before you bring up the issue with her, have a clear record in your mind of examples of times when you think she’s been embarrassed to be with you. At the very least, she will have to explain to you why she acted embarrassed. Maybe there is another explanation- and by bringing up the topic, you’re giving her the chance to reveal what the problem is.

Ultimately, if she’s embarrassed to be with you, she’s either going to have to get over it, or you need to end the relationship. You can’t be in a healthy relationship if she’s ashamed that you’re her boyfriend.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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