Think This Way, Get Girls
Money, power, and looks: all assets in the dating game, yet they’re not as powerful as what’s going on between your ears. How you think really is the deciding factor as to whether or not you will be successful with women. I know it sounds simplistic, but empowering thoughts are the only commonality of every good piece of dating advice.
If you can change the way you think, you can change your love life. In fact, I sometimes think that the real value of money, looks, power is it enables otherwise average guys to think superhero thoughts. You can fast track your success with women if you simply adopt thinking like the rich, powerful, and handsome:
Thought Bubble 1: “I’m in no rush because the more time she spends in front of me, the more attracted she’s going to get”
Most guys see an “opportunity” with women like sand through the hourglass. They’re so afraid that if they don’t keep talking, keep her entertained, or rush her through a courtship timeline that she’s going to lose interest. If you really examine the rational behind this mindset, it’s pathetic.
Rather than trying to jam your “game” down a woman’s throat before she has a chance to realize you’re not attractive, invert your thought-process so that you’re coming from a place of detached confidence. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make a move, or that you should just stand there and do nothing; however, I AM saying that you should feel no rush to attract a woman.
A friend once relayed a great movie quote that sums up this mentality:
“There are two bulls standing on a hill overlooking a pasture full of cows. The younger bull, eager, but lacking experience, says to the old bull “Hey, let’s run down there and fuck ourselves a cow.” The old bull, who has spent season after season in this pasture, turns to the younger bull, chuckles, and replies “Nah, how about we walk down there, and fuck them all.”
Thought Bubble 2: “I enjoy meeting women because I’m not ashamed of being a man”
In most cultures, masculinity is in decay. Probably this isn’t news to you, as it’s been discussed ad nauseam. Yet what are you doing about it? I’ll tell you what you’re probably NOT doing about: expressing your masculinity proudly. If you’re a single man it’s your RESPONSIBILITY to take the initiative and approach women. Anything less is cowardly and unmanly.
Yet so many guys meander through adulthood, hiding behind online dating sites or satiating themselves with porn. They then go out into society and act like androgynous wimps, watching women from afar, too afraid to assert their masculinity like men and actually approach a woman they find attractive.
At risk of sounding crude, it’s time to grab your balls, put your pimp foot forward, and start walking up to beautiful women you want to meet. Most guys will only do so if/when they think they have a shot at attracting women, yet guys who are empowered do it simply because it’s an expression of their masculinity. Most guys are ashamed of their manly desires, so by embracing them you’re setting yourself apart from other spineless chump who’s masturbating himself into celibacy.
Thought Bubble 3: “My respect is a stairway to be climbed, but it’s not an escalator”
This may sound like a bizarre metaphor, but I needed a way to describe how I quickly get women to chase my approval. I do it by giving every woman I’m speaking with an opportunity to earn my respect. Key words from that last sentence are “opportunity” and “earn.” I’m never a jerk, nor do I say snarky thing in a stupid attempt to make myself look cool, yet I also don’t just hand my respect to every cute girl who crosses my path.
Good looks will entice me to approach a woman (see thought bubble 2), but that doesn’t mean I’m head-over-heels in love. If a girl doesn’t earn my respect, then I’m NOT going to sit there and shower her with compliments or tell her how great she is. I’m going to challenge her to earn my respect by putting effort into our conversation and, more importantly, by leading an interesting life so we have things to talk about.
For most guys, they let attractive women ride the escalator to their respect. Everything she says is “so awesome!” or “super interesting!” They become her yes-man, thinking that the more they agree, the more time they might buy themselves in front of her (a complete contradiction of thought bubble 1!). Very unattractive, indeed!
Don’t like disempowering thoughts stop you from approaching and attracting beautiful women. Rich, handsome, powerful men are attractive because they think this way naturally as a byproduct of living up to society’s standard of “attractiveness.”
Yet you can “hack” attraction by simply embodying (and truly believing) these 3 simple thought bubbles. If you can tattoo these thoughts into your unconscious, and let them dictate the way you feel, then the next time you find yourself in front of an attractive girl, your thought patterns will be more potent than the most powerful aphrodisiac.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.