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An Open Letter to Orbitors

You know who you all are, gentlemen.

The ones lurking in the shadows, pretending to be a girl’s “friend.” Yeah, you Mr. I-Just-Like-Doing-Nice-Things-For-People (but only if those “people” happen to be female and attractive). This isn’t just for the Nice Guys—it’s for the Nice Guys with Agendas. Every last one of you, listen up:

guyorbitor3You should have your penis confiscated.

I mean that in the most emasculating way imaginable, with all the castrating implications. You don’t deserve to call yourself a man—or even a male. You’re some pathetic androgynous creature who lacks the balls to be direct about your intentions, yet you believe you “deserve” attractive women anyway.

If it were simply your inflated standards, there would be no need for an open letter. Plenty of guys sit on the sidelines, longing for hotter girls without ever taking action. You, Mr. Orbitor, are different, however.

That’s because you live to sabotage men greater than you.

Men who are honest and direct with the girls you’re pretending to be “friends” with are the men you prey upon. You insidiously undermine these men with your unsolicited advice about how your “friend’s” lovelife.

The wheelhouse of the orbitor is the petty disagreement. If the girl he’s orbiting and her man have some petty dispute, the orbitor emerges like a snake in the grass to throw gasoline on the fire.

“He did what!?” the orbitor demands, “You shouldn’t put up with that!”

Even if his “friend” protests, reassuring the orbitor that the disagreement wasn’t a big deal, the orbitor persists, relentless until he’s stirred up some doubt and skepticism.

And he doesn’t stop there. The orbitor will take every opportunity to undermine his “friend’s” relationship, sometimes even resorting to outright lying to accomplish his purpose. Even if the orbitor knows he’s ethically wrong, he persists because he believes the “end justifies the means,” and, in his mind, the “end” he envisions is his friend suddenly realizing what a “great guy” has been orbiting her all along.

The orbitor’s weapons of choice are undeserved gifts, self-serving advice, and fawning attention. Even when a girl tells the orbitor she’d prefer to pay for something or she can take a taxi somewhere, the orbitor absolutely insists he act as the White Knight and “assist” a girl he’s not even romantic with.

And so that’s why orbitors are the lowest sort of man—a human nightmare. Too many men give up on honesty and directness and instead live the life of the orbitor, quick to ruin other people’s happiness in a vain attempt to augment their own happiness.

In my own experiences, orbitors have gotten their claws in several of my past relationships. Of course, the blame does not fall purely on Mr. Orbitor. The woman who takes the advice of an orbitor or is so naïve they fail to see the orbitor’s agenda is also at fault.

And finally, the blame also lies with the man who’s dating said woman, too. If an orbitor can get in between you and the lady you’re dating, what does that say about your relationship? Orbitors are weak, sneaky guys who prey on cracks in a relationship. If there are no cracks to exploit, there is little work for an orbitor.

I conclude this open letter to any man who is currently orbiting some unsuspecting girl to keep your advice to yourself. Even if you think she “needs to hear” your opinion on her relationship, stop yourself. Instead, step up, embrace honesty, and be direct with your intentions.

Sincerely,
Every guy with a set of balls

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

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About Rob Judge Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in Scottsdate. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. Get Coaching with Rob: https://www.tsbmag.com/private-coaching-with-rob-judge/

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