What Your Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Know About Your Ex
Leaving out certain parts of your romantic history is just relationship etiquette. Your current girlfriend does not need to know the entire truth of your relationship with your ex, and she certainly won’t benefit from comparisons whether favourable or not.
Especially if your girlfriend has a glaring insecurity about a certain aspect of her life, she doesn’t need to know that your ex had it sorted. If she’s always on a diet, she doesn’t want to her you say “I don’t understand why you’re always dieting, my ex never dieted and she always looked fit”. This is probably the worst thing you could ever say and you should be prepared for some serious fallout.
You may think you are reassuring your current girlfriend that you’ll never get back with your ex because she’s completely nuts, and for a little while she will probably be perfectly content with this explanation. However, if you ever accuse your girlfriend of being a little crazy (and let’s face it, people in relationship tend to be less than sane at times), she will start to wonder if your definition of crazy is loose enough to include her. Thinking of you telling future girlfriends that she’s nuts would not be a nice thought.
Not only will your girlfriend likely feel jealous, she will also wonder why you even told her what your ex was like in bed. Are you making comparisons? Are you trying to guilt her into being more adventurous? Are you trying to show off about how experienced you are? No matter your motive, this reflects badly on you. It will make your girlfriend feel inadequate in the bedroom, and as a result she will probably be less interested in you.
Similarly, if you’re not happy that your girlfriend won’t watch porn with you, don’t tell her that your ex was perfectly happy to do it. That kind of comparison is not going to make her feel more positive about it, and if she ever does try it out, she’s going to be thinking about you being with your ex the entire time.
Meeting the family is scary, and often doesn’t go as well as expected. You don’t want to terrify your girlfriend into thinking that there is a high standard for her to meet. It doesn’t matter if your ex was exceptionally socially gifted and even managed to get your sternest folks to warm up to her. Your girlfriend does not need to know, she will just feel pressured and inadequate.
It sounds like a compliment to tell her that she’s better than your ex at something, but it’s honestly not what your girlfriend wants to hear. Each new relationship should be starting afresh, rather than a comparison to the old one. It will also make her wonder how many comparisons you’re making in your head, and if any of them are less than favourable.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/