When She Talks About Other Guys
The girl you’re casually seeing mentions she’s going on a date this weekend, or plans her next booty call with someone else when she’s lying in bed with you. Don’t assume she is just talking about it because she’s comfortable with you- there is likely to be a strategy behind her bringing it up.
By making sure that you know about the other men in her life, she is sending you a strong hint about the casual basis of your relationship. There are two possible reasons for this. She could be trying to emphasise that she’s only seeing you for sex, and wants to keep it that way. Or, she is hoping that you will progress to something more serious. Either way, it is a good opportunity to make your expectations clear. If you don’t want to be in a serious relationship with her, you could respond with the exact same behavior, and casually mention to her that you are also seeing other women. Do not go into too much detail, or it will seem like you’re showing off; only mention other women as a direct response to her talking about other men. Alternatively, if you would like to become exclusive, and you suspect that she has only mentioned the other guy because she wants to see if you feel the same, the time is ripe for you to raise the issue of becoming a couple.
The worst response is to ask her questions about the nature of her other relationships. Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. Asking questions could also make you appear controlling, and there is huge potential for an argument to start.
She wants you to know that you are one of many, and she wants to see your reaction to this. Again, reasons for wanting to gauge if you are the jealous type may differ. She might be thinking of being in a proper relationship with you, but only if you do not have jealousy issues. Or, she could be trying to make you realize how desirable she is, in order to feed her own ego. This is more likely to be the case if she is insecure about herself and if you do not give her any compliments. Whatever her reason, the best response from you is to refrain from showing her if you are jealous, especially if you want your casual relationship with her to remain the same.
You may have analyzed her behavior and come up with a sophisticated explanation of her motives. Some of the time you will be spot on, other times, there is no point trying to figure out her reasons, because she has no idea either. If she is not the brightest crayon in the box, it’s possible that she has not put any thought into her words. She is talking about other guys because she has not realized that it’s not the most appropriate topic of conversation.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/