When She Says She’s Not the Relationship Type
You’re seeing each other, and you want to make things between you more serious, but she messes up your plans by saying she’s just not the type to be in a relationship. What do these cryptic words mean?
Don’t take it personally. It is unlikely that she is just using “not being the relationship type” as a way to let you down gently, as it’s such an obscure excuse. There are a hundred and one other ways to do that- it’s much more likely that she would say no, or say she only sees you as a friend, or avoid the issue entirely.
When a woman says that she’s not the “type” to be in a relationship, it most likely means that her last relationship was awful and she thinks all relationships are like that. She is relishing being single and free of the drama that having a boyfriend can bring. Her bad relationship doesn’t need to have ended especially recently for her to feel this way- if it was her last relationship, the memories are going to be all too fresh in her mind. You can’t blame her for not wanting to invite drama into her life, but this does not mean that she will never be ready for a relationship again. The only way to win her over is by showing her that being with you can be fun and drama-free. If you think she is worth the effort, the best strategy would be to continue casually seeing her, but take the pressure off her to make it official. Put effort into making sure she enjoys her time with you, and she will soon realize that you will be a better boyfriend than her last.
Another possible reason that she’s said she’s not the relationship type is because she wants to be free to roam. If she has a trip planned or is constantly daydreaming about her next holiday, you can bet that she doesn’t want a relationship because she doesn’t want to have to Skype you every night when she could be getting with cute guys that don’t speak her language. There is not really a way around this issue- you might want to keep in touch for when she returns from her travels, but by then you will have moved on.
Not every woman wants or needs company. Maybe she is just out for a bit of fun, and doesn’t want to get too attached to anyone. At this stage in her life, she really is not the relationship type. You don’t know when she is going to grow out of the single life, if she ever will, so you shouldn’t hold your breath for her. If you’re going to continue seeing her, make it casual, because that is all she wants from you.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/