When she asks about your history
When you get a girlfriend, it can seem like your history with women is unimportant. But trust me, it is not unimportant to her. She has been thinking about it, and she will ask.
It does not matter how chill she seems. You may think she is not the jealous type, but you would be wrong. Every woman will be insecure about your previous partners, especially if you have had many. Even if she has not asked about your history yet, she had definitely thought about it, and she is bound to ask at some point. The main thing you need to remember is to be tactful, and do not be surprised if she has a jealous reactions. When this happens, she wants reassurance. She needs you to tell her that none of them are important now that you are with her. If you are in a serious relationship, you could reassure her by telling her that you would be happy if she is the last name on your list, despite your history.
The conversation is unlikely to end with informing each other how many people you have slept with. That is just the start. Curiosity may get the better of her, and she could start asking invasive questions about what your past experiences were like. If you tell her any details, she will only ask more questions and get more jealous. You need to tell her that you are not comfortable discussing it, or that you don’t remember, or that it is not important. All she should know is the bare facts. She does not need to know how you felt at the time, or what the women looked like, or how passionate the experiences were. She may tell you that she does not care and that she is just curious; do not fall for it.
Where did it happen?
She may ask where your previous experiences have occurred. This is especially bad if you are lying in your bed together, and she asks if you have ever slept with anyone else in that bed. This is where departures from the truth are highly advisable. Find a way to deny it. Tell her you have since gotten a new mattress, or that all of your encounters have occurred at the houses of the women concerned. Otherwise, she will think about it every time you are in that bed together. If it is a serious relationship, you could admit to it and suggest buying a bed together.
Don’t inflate your number
The temptation is there to tell her that you’ve bedded more women than you’ve had hot dinners. While your friends may be impressed by the number on your bedpost, your girlfriend will probably be a cross between disgusted and insecure, and possibly puzzled that you do not seem that experienced. You do not want her to think you have slept with dozens of women, especially if you actually have not. Knowing that you have a lengthy history can ruin your sex life, as she will be worried that you are comparing her to women of your past. She may also decide that she cannot have a serious relationship with you, even if she enjoys your company for the time being.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/