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The Secret Petty Reasons Why She Won’t Go Home With You


The girl you’re chatting to at the bar seems interested in you, yet she does not want to take things further. Often, she is just being nice to you despite not being attracted to you, and you mistake her polite chatter for genuine interest. Other times, you are reading the signs correctly, but she has a secret and unimportant reason why tonight is not your night.

It’s a jungle down there

She may have been in a rush to get ready, so she skipped her hair removal routine. She may also have done this on purpose, precisely so that she would not go home with a guy. No matter what her reason, she will not let on because she is embarrassed. However, there is still hope for you; by the early hours, she may be desperate enough for some action that she no longer cares about a bit of fuzz.

She already has a lift lined up

She may have already worked out how she is getting home. Changing her plans and going home with you instead may be too much effort. Or, she might not ask you back to her place because she knows there are limited spots in her ride back home. It is a very practical reason, and it is one that is subject to change if she takes more of a liking to you.

She’s having too much fun

She wants to stay out a bit longer, but you have tried to close the deal too soon. If you were more relaxed and let her do her own thing for a bit, be that dancing, hanging out with her friends or chatting to strangers, she may have sought you out by the end of the night. The problem, of course, is that a lot of the time you miss out precisely because you did not seal the deal soon enough. There is nothing you can really do about this, other than try to find her again later on if you suspect this is her motive.

She thinks you’re boyfriend material

You were reading all her signs correctly, and she really is interested in you. Perhaps she is a little too interested, as she thinks it is prudent to not jump into your bed straightaway. She will tell you that she is not interested in going home with you tonight, but she will ask for your number anyway. This will possibly make for the most confusing rejection you have ever received. You will need to take her on several dates before anything happens.

She doesn’t want her friends to know


Perhaps she has conservative values and is embarrassed about picking up. Or, she may be so experienced that her friends tease her about picking up all the time. She came out with a group of friends, and she intends to go home with them to avoid any awkward conversations about what she did that night. She may also have a boyfriend, and so she does not want her friends to know about any cheating behaviour. This type will probably ask for your number, and you may or may not hear from her again.

About Natasha Abrahams

Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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