Why she thinks you’re not boyfriend material
You are in a casual relationship, but it does not seem to be going anywhere. You may be keen to take it further, but she does not seem to be interested in anything more than a friends-with-benefits arrangement. There are many possible reasons for her not wanting to make it official, and one of the most likely scenarios is that she thinks you are not boyfriend material.
This list of reasons why she thinks you would not be suited to being a boyfriend can also be read in the opposite direction- as a guide to keep your relationships casual.
The number one sign to her that you will never be fit to be her boyfriend is that you are unreliable. Not contacting her for days at a time, cancelling on her or totally forgetting that you made plans with her are all huge red flags. This shows a basic lack of respect for her. Particularly if she is a busy person that tends to keep to a schedule, she will strike you off the list of potential boyfriends if you show no consideration for her time.
You keep your friends separate
She has never met your friends, and if you go out on the weekend she is definitely not invited. To her, this is a sign that you are not comfortable integrating her into your life. Keeping her in the bedroom and away from your social life is an indicator that you do not know how to juggle having a girlfriend and friends at the same time.
You don’t go on dates
She knows that she is firmly in friends-with-benefits territory if there is no effort on either side to embark on activities outside of the bedroom. Even if you do go on dates, as some friends-with-benefits do, there may always be the expectation of sex. If you cancel plans with her after she tells you she’s on her period, then she knows that there is no hope of you being a caring boyfriend. Incidentally, the perfect boyfriend-like response to her saying she’s on her period is to suggest an activity that involves eating chocolate, with no expectations that you will sleep together.
You have a history
She knows that you have a trail of failed relationships behind you. It is even worse if you have had a number of very short relationships, and no long-term girlfriends. If no other girl has decided to keep you past the honeymoon stage, it suggests to her that perhaps you are no good at being in relationships. Particularly if you refer to all of your exes as being crazy (as guys often do), she will wonder if it is actually you that is the problem in all your past relationships. Often you cannot hide from your history, so if this is your situation it is best to admit that you have had many relationships and focus on the fact that you have learnt a lot from your experiences.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/