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How to Be Chivalrous Without Being Corny

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Women love a nice gentleman, but they also really love the jerks sometimes, and everything that falls in between. Sometimes when sweet acts are too planned it feels inauthentic and like something we expect to fall away as soon as the first impression phase slips away. That does not mean however, that you should skip the chivalry. Just stick to these ways that will make a good impression without making her suspicious.

Listen

Oh, easy right! Not always. You’d be surprised how much a woman pays attention to whether you have you phone out the whole time she’s talking or if you’re actively listening and responding to her. We pay attention to this because we’ve been known to pull out the phone and start texting in an effort to slink away from a conversation that we don’t want to be in. You don’t have to drill a hole in her soul with your gaze, but you know, pay attention.

Open the Door For Her

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If you already do it, that’s great. But you might be surprised how many don’t. It doesn’t need to be an over the top show of how gentlemanly you can be, but just get in the habit of letting women go ahead of you in elevators or into buildings. Seriously it makes us feel like honored princesses, which we like. You don’t have to throw your coat down on a puddle for us to walk over (that would cross into corny territory), but having spatial awareness of where your girl is at makes us feel real nice.

Follow Up

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If you had a great date, let her know. If you said you would get back to her, get back to her. It’s easy to let text conversations trail off or just neglect to say what you’re thinking because it’s so obvious to you. A woman can go pretty quickly from cloud nine post date to frantically asking all her friends for advice when she hasn’t heard from you in a couple days. Is that preferable? No. Probably not for anyone, it can veer into total crazy freak out territory. But just know that it can happen and then make sure that you don’t leave her hanging longer than necessary.

Be Bold

Embracing your boldness means not being shy when you ask her out, not being afraid to suggest dinner options (even if she shuts all your ideas down), and not being afraid to tell her how you feel. Yes, this also includes when you are not interested in going out with her again.

Chivalry should not kept for the women you’re trying to impress, it should be a life habit so that when the right one comes along your chivalrous nature will be set in stone and drawing her in. Honest communication is always a better option than avoiding a conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it is. It’s not that complicated to say “Hey, it was great to meet you but I’m gonna have to pass on that second date. Thanks!”.

Most women will appreciate the straightforwardness. Some won’t at all and will totally overreact, but when you’re operating from a chivalrous place you can rest assured that any unsavory reaction is totally on her and not at all your problem.

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About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.

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