The Push-Pull Rhythm That Amplifies Her Desire

You hear a lot about the push-pull technique, which essentially entails balancing your interest and attention on a girl.

It goes something like, ‘show a little interest, back off, repeat.’

The idea being that you?re showing enough interest in a woman so that they think they can have you, but getting them worked up because they think they might not be able to get you. Subsequently, this amplifies attraction in a woman, because you?re creating desire. She wants a thing she cannot seem to get.

This always seemed like a highfalutin concept to me. Easy enough to read about and understand, but really fucking difficult to implement in real life.

Because it?s this balancing act, you?re always asking yourself;

?Is this too much? Too little? Am I doing too much or not enough??

So to be honest, I threw it out the window a long time ago in favor of a more ?no worries, just go for it? approach. I just couldn?t really get a hold of this Push-Pull thing and I found the more I tried sticking with it, the weaker results it yielded.

Push-Pull always seemed like this thing you did over a long period of time, and for me, time is the enemy of attraction. ?Strike while the iron is hot?, I always say.

I found that mindset worked much better for me than trying to work?in some rhythm like a fly-fishermen. It seemed like too much work when you could just sport fish.

But I?ve had a recent revelation about Push-Pull. I realized that I fundamentally misunderstood the concept. Because Push-Pull should really be called;

Pull ? ESCALATE ? Push

It?s what?s been missing from the algorithm this whole time, our old friend, escalation. Now we?re cooking with gas.

Where I was getting in trouble with Push-Pull is that I found I was getting stuck at the same level of attraction with a girl. And getting stuck is really just a countdown to de-escalation. So after a while, women were losing interest.

Now I do believe that time is still your friend here, and the long-game can and should only be so long. However, sometimes, when trying to get a friend or co-worker interested in you, this is the way to go.

Let?s break it down,



You?re showing interest. You?re developing rapport, creating inside jokes.



You?re creating sexual tension. Talking about sex. Taking opportunities for physical contact. Making wild fantasies together (joking about getting married, your wild honeymoon and subsequent life together).



And just like that, your interest is gone. You?re doing something else. You?re busy. Your responses are short and very infrequent. You?re creating mystery and upsetting her expectations of you.


Why does this all work? Think about how crazy it would drive you to have somebody make you?horny and then not have any sexual release? You?d go fucking mental, and she will too.

And that?s the rhythm you?re trying match. You want take her to her boiling point, and then turn off the burner.

Now it?s important to remember that at some point, you have to pull the trigger. You?ve got to get her out on the date, you?ve got to continue to escalate the nature of your relationship with her, from platonic to sexual.

You might also be asking, ?How frequently should I repeat this pattern??

While you?ll obviously want to give yourself enough time to properly push her away and create that mystery and desire, other than that, just be fearless about it.

There?s actually nothing wrong with scrambling up the formula a bit, because it?ll keep her guessing. Staying unpredictable will work, so long as you remember to keep building up that tension.

Here is another article related to the subject:?


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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.