What to Know Before Dating a Coworker
We spend a huge portion of our waking hours at work so it’s not surprising that the office is one of the most common places for couples to meet. That does not however mean that it’s always a seamless process. Here are some things to keep in mind when you’re navigating the dating process with a coworker.
Remaining professional while you date within the office is going to save you a lot of trouble. Even if there aren’t any rules against dating coworkers it’s generally frowned upon to bring your personal dramas into the shared space. Resist the urge to make out by the water cooler or discuss the disagreement you had over the weekend.
When it’s not likely that you’re going to run into a girl there’s a little more freedom involved when it comes to things like dating casually, but when you work with someone the pressure is going to be on from the start to figure out how serious of a thing it is. You don’t want to lead on a coworker who will make your life hell when you later mention that you’re just looking for something casual. It is what it is, but just be honest and communicate from the start.
When you’re dating a coworker you absolutely can not get it twisted and feel jealous about the fact that she’s talking to other men. She might even be flirting with them but if it’s for the sake of her business then it shouldn’t be of a concern for you. That being said, no one should be overtly flirting just for the heck of it or crossing the line anywhere. A good rule of thumb is that both of your work relationships should remain the same regardless of whether you’re dating or not. Cooling off friendships in the office for the sake of jealousy generally only causes problems later on.
You probably have tons in common with a girl you work with, but make sure and focus on the other things you have in common besides work when you’re together on your own time. If you don’t put a cap on how much time you spend discussing work stuff then it can threaten to overwhelm the relationship and remove all the fun stuff. Keep it to twenty minutes in the evening which should be plenty of time to discuss the day and then move on.
As far as letting other people in on your budding romance, timing is key. You don’t need to formally announce anything to your coworkers, but they should get the hint when you start showing up together in the mornings or to happy hour. As for your boss, save it for when it’s serious. A good rule of thumb is to bring it up to the boss around the same time that you would introduce a girl to your parents. When you do, make sure to do it alone and not together. Ensure him or her that it will not affect your work in any way.
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About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.