Being a Good Buddy
Making friends is easy. Keeping friends is what really counts. Have you ever had that one friend who was super cool, always let you have a beer and play his 360 only to have him back-stab you via cock-blocking you or stealing your woman when he should be the wing-man?
Dress well, but not as well as your pilot. He is the one on the prowl tonight so you will have to respectfully be the lesser alpha male tonight. This by no means throw all aspects of hygiene out the window. Some women like men who smell like wet socks and have a mountain man beard, but not a lot.
When your buddy makes contact with his target, immediately begin to chat up/flirt with the wingman’s target. Hideous or deformed she may be, this is your job. Your buddy does it for you, and you shall do it for him. Do everything short of embarrassing yourself to keep her attention on you, and away from your buddy and his target. When your buddy gives you the signal (usually a thumbs up or a slight nod; most women can’t detect the nod) this is your cue to “go somewhere quiet to talk” with your target; your buddy will be doing the same with his target. If you can manage a hi five, go for it. But this may ruin both your chances so make sure you can pull it off covertly.
In the event your pilots target is more interested in you than he, abort immediately. Give her a shoulder so cold the Cocytus dwelling Lucifer will need a down jacket. If and only if your pilot gives the ok for you to pursue her, can you switch roles and attempt to close. If he refuses, it isn’t up for debate. Move on to other targets. If in the off chance you switch roles and become pilot and everyone is happy, then have at it.
If your friend brings home a lovely lady and she stays for more than a night or two, treat her as you would any friend that is a girl. Be polite but be on your guard; she could be trying to run through your circle of pals, which isn’t cool unless the first guy to close her is ok with it. If she turns out to be cool then as mentioned before be polite and respectful to her. She could be sticking around for a while.
If your buddy has hooked up with a woman on more than one occasion she is off limits indefinitely. Even if they break up or stop talking, be wary. Your friend can say it’s cool for you to pursue, but secretly be a crybaby about it. If you still want to pursue, clear it with your friend first. If you close her and he STILL gets upset, that is entirely his fault. He opened that door, so why wouldn’t you try to walk through?
It’s an age old rule and somehow there are guys out there who don’t get it. No matter what the situation is, you always put bros before hoes. This applies especially when you and your buddies have a designated night for something (poker, man movies, beating up a hooker the list goes on). Even if the woman you’re trying to close/your girlfriend asks you to do something with her, she must understand. If you have to break bros before hoes, it can only be done a MAXIMUM of two times a month, not in same time frame and you better have a damn good explanation for breaking it. If there is no intimacy gained from you breaking bros before hoes, your man status is up for review. Not because you couldn’t close, but its always bros before hoes.
One word can sum up how to be a good buddy; selflessness. It may seem unfair but if you think about it if all your buddies are being selfless for one another; it turns out to be quite the symbiotic co-existence.
About Cliff Englewood Cliff goes to MSU and is TSB Magazine resident "College Life" contributor with tips and advice to get the most out of your time in college.