How To Get Off A Girl’s “Hook”
Have you ever had that girl in your life who you feel like you’re constantly chasing? She strings you along just enough to keep you interested- but no matter it just seems like she always ends up with other guys.
And yet, you hold out hope that eventually it’ll be the right time and you’ll have your shot.
If that’s the case, you are indeed on this girl’s “hook”.
Just about everybody keeps somebody (or multiple people) on the hook.
The hook is reserved for those people who you maybe wouldn’t mind sleeping with, or keeping as a “backup” but who you’re just not interested enough in to fully pursue.
So this girl who has you on the hook, whoever she might be, is not to be demonized for doing so. It’s natural behavior that everybody participates in. Especially desirable people.
However, YOU NEED TO GET OFF THE HOOK, because it’s completely toxic to your life.
Being on the hook can give you false hope, make you feel inferior, shake your confidence and distract you from pursuing other girls.
It’s torture and it can get in the way of your pursuit of happiness.
So how do you get off the hook? There are two ways.
You go dark. You disappear. You erase this girl from your life and you from hers.
Phone numbers, Facebook, Instagram, the works. Everything must go.
I’m talking cold turkey here. So even if she messages you, no reply is necessary.
“But won’t that make me look immature to get rid of her completely?”
Even if she does think that about you briefly, it’s only a matter of time before she starts miss your attention, guaranteed.
She might not noticed after a few days, but in three to four weeks she’ll be wondering where you’ve gone.
Remember this is about your mental health at this point. It’s important to give yourself a clean slate to work from. But to do that you need to get this girl out of your system.
If you’re going to be constantly tempted to check her Facebook, text her and so on, it’s just going to make that recovery process all the much harder.
***If it’s the case that this girl who’s hook you feel your on was a friend before things got weird, then after a few months, it’s cool to burry the hatchet and resume the friendship, but only if you do so without the expectation for anything more.
One of the reason you might be finding yourself in this weird state of limbo between sex and the friend-zone is that you just haven’t been exciting this girl enough around you.
She probably finds you perfectly attractive, but maybe you’re just not ambitious or confident enough.
Or maybe she thinks you’re really funny, but all the dates you try to get her out on seem like big asks, instead of fun casual encounters.
But probably, more than anything, you’re not sexualizing your flirting, establishing attraction and escalating sexual tension with this girl.
You haven’t made yourself known as a sexual candidate to this girl in a confident way, so on some level she may just assumes that you’re not all that interested- or at least, as interested as the guys she’s actually sleeping with.
Whatever the scenario, you’re probably missing an ingredient somewhere. You’ve been doing just enough to save you from the friend-zone, but not enough to escalate the nature of your relationship.
While you definitely should not ever stress out or find yourself becoming obsessed with trying to win over one girl, it is worth examining the reasons why you’re finding yourself stuck where you are.
Essentially, know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.
But no matter what, see it all as a chance to legitimately improve you.
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About David Maitland David Maitland is a writer living in Vancouver, Canada.