Signs You’re Being a Pushover
There are a lot of reasons why women start to lose interest in a guy that they’re dating (sorry), but one common one is when the man starts giving into her every whim and changing up his whole persona. Unfortunately, this generally coincides with the point that the dude realizes he can’t do without her. It sounds a little backwards because ultimately women do want a guy who’s crazy about us…we just want him to act like the man we fell for. Here are some signs you’ve drifted too far into whipped territory and are being a bit of a pushover.
Sometimes when women feel a little overwhelmed with a guy’s attention we get a little crabby. Thank you for being nice, but sometimes when it’s a little too nice and we feel pulled to start a little drama to spice things up again. Some of us get bored when we know what to expect and there’s no challenge involved, same as you guys. No one said this would always be logical.
We aren’t right all the time guys, and while we don’t appreciate defensive responses to everything we say we do want to hear your opinions. You still have opinions right? Being heard and understood is a great thing, but beyond that you should be able to express yourself without fear that we’ll get mad if you don’t agree with us. And sometimes we will get mad, but you shouldn’t be fearful of it.
No men, no. When you’re newly dating sure, you’re going to want to pay attention to signals to gauge her readiness, but once we let you in we don’t want to be in complete control of deciding when are where sex takes place. We like that you’re a man and we expect you to come after it if you want it. We like assertiveness, attention, and passion because it feels personal and purposeful.
Naturally when you’re in a relationship there is some restructuring of time management to fit everyone in, but you shouldn’t let it get to the point that your old life disappears. She loves spending time with you but she fell for you as who you were, so you can’t give up on that. Sometimes people are fearful that if they don’t drop everything for someone that the person will leave, but with the right person this couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Even if it isn’t coming from a place of her consciously using you for anything, you sort of feel like it anyway. Maybe you’ve been wining and dining her like crazy but she seems bored on your dates, or she’s showing little regard for how you’d like to spend the day and invites her friends over for mimosas on your deck while ignoring you. She probably isn’t trying to use you, but you might be letting her.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.