Catastrophic Pre-Sex Mistakes
Picture this: You?re on a date with the woman of your dreams?
So far, the night has gone off without a hitch and you KNOW that as soon as you get home, she?s DEFINITELY going to f*ck you.
So you pay for dinner and head back to your place?
Your cock miraculously starts getting hard as soon as you get in the car?you haven?t had an erection this big in years?and you can?t help but rub her thigh while driving.
As your hand creeps further in, you can actually sense her pussy tingle with excitement even through her dress and panties?both of you can?t wait!
You start tearing each other?s clothes off as soon as you walk in the door?She looks so hot naked!
You sense her nipples get hard as you caress her breasts?and when you gently suck on each one, they get even harder…
When you glance down, you notice a small puddle forming on the floor beneath her as juices gush from her pink, velvety slit?soaking her legs as they cascade downwards. Mmmmm;)
So you pick her up and carry her into the bedroom?
You throw her down on the bed. This turns her on even more?and now she?s laying there, legs wide open, moaning your name, BEGGING you to ravage her?
You can?t believe this is really happening!
But THEN?just as you?re about to bury your face in her delicious pussy?you hear it?
An embarrassing rumble in your stomach?and you know she heard it too!
You try to shake it off, but it?s too late. That huge T-bone steak and loaded baked potato you had at dinner aren?t sitting well.
Suddenly you realize how full and sluggish you feel?and now you kind of wish she?d just get on top.
She takes the hint?.but you can tell she?s not thrilled. Like any girl, she REALLY wanted you to tongue her clit first?
Still, she straddles you and reaches down to guide your cock inside her?
?I want you to go REALLY deep,? she purrs?It sounds so sexy, and her touch feels amazing.
?So, wait?why are you losing your hard-on?!
Well, that third whiskey you ordered might have something to do with it.
At this point you?re beyond humiliated, but also secretly relieved?
?You drank a Red Bull earlier that day, hoping it would give you loads of energy for the night ahead?and for a few hours, it did?.
BUT? now that the caffeine and sugar highs have worn off, you?re crashing so hard that that f*cking her the way you?ve been wanting to all night?HARD and FAST and for HOURS?now sounds way too exhausting?
The worst part though, is that despite your limp dick and sleepy state?.you?re still horny for her!
Luckily, she?s horny too?way too horny to give up. So she put her soft, moist lips around your sad, shriveled shaft?
You can tell she desperately wants you to get hard, because now she?s sucking on your cock like a porn star?
She runs her tongue up and down your shaft, then works it in circles around the head, while gently kneading your balls with the other.
Just when you?re thinking this blow job couldn?t feel any more amazing, she stuffs your WHOLE cock down her throat?
You’ve never experienced oral like this before?it even feels better than ANAL SEX!
Little by little, your dick begins to firm up. Before long, her hot little mouth gets you hard enough to f*ck again?
You?re about to tell her to get on all fours, but she?s still sucking your cock so passionately, that before you even get a word out?.
NOOOOOOO?you prematurely blow your whole load in her mouth!
You try to at least enjoy the orgasm, but can?t, because she immediately starts gagging in disgust?
?Your cum tastes ROTTEN,? she cries, ?I?ve never tasted anything so terrible?what?s wrong with you!??
?I?m so sorry, it must have been something I ate,? you mumble, frantically trying to remember what it could have been?The steak? The side of asparagus tips? The garlic butter?
You?re MORTIFIED! Not only did you completely blow your chance to pleasure her tonight, but now she?s both disgusted AND disappointed.
She goes to the bathroom to rinse her mouth out, and comes back fully dressed. Now you KNOW it?s over?it?ll definitely be a while before she jumps in bed with you again?if she EVER does that is:(
?It?s amazing how easy it is to turn what COULD have been a night of mind-blowing sex, into a complete disaster!
Believe it or not, the things that you eat, drink, do (or don?t do), throughout the day, DIRECTLY affect your performance at NIGHT.
Did you catch all the mistakes in this story?
Energy drinks can actually cause your energy to plummet at the WORST possible moment?
Alcohol may loosen you up, but a tipsy cock doesn?t stay hard.
Eating a rich, heavy meal before lovemaking can have all kinds of unsexy consequences?bloating, gas, cramping, lethargy, and so forth.
Asparagus and red meat happen to be two of the MANY foods that make your spunk taste TERRIBLE.
And starting the show a little too early?like, in the car?might be hot, but unless you plan on doing her in the car, getting yourself worked up prematurely can lead to one of the most embarrassing faux pas?cumming too soon!
And there are many OTHER seemingly innocuous activities that you should avoid prior to sex?Do YOU know what they are? A lot of men don?t!
So I?m going to let you in on all the things you should NEVER do if you think there?s even a small chance that you?ll be inside her tonight;)
AND? I?ll also tell you about a few super important pre-sex rituals you SHOULD follow, to ensure you AND your woman have the ULTIMATE intimate experience every time?and prevent any awkward moments from killing the mood?.
DON?T masturbate the day of?If you jerk off too close to the main event, you may not have enough time to regenerate enough sperm to get you hard when you?re with her that night?And even if you do get it up, she probably won?t be very impressed by the size of your load when you cum.
Also?a guy?s sex drive temporarily drops for a period of time after cumming, so if you?re looking to pick up a new lover that night, you won?t be ?hungry? enough to put in as much effort as a guy whose balls are full.
DO masturbate the night before?If you abstain from ejaculating for TOO long, you won?t be able to last inside her for very long either?you could even end up spraying during FOREPLAY?which is beyond upsetting for everyone involved!
…But a self-induced release the night before gives your body just enough time to restock your cock, while actually EXTENDING the amount of time you?re able to last in bed. Think of it as a warm-up!
DON?T overdo it at the gym?It?s tempting to try and undo several months of slacking off and overeating at the last minute, but if you go TOO hard in the morning, your muscles will be too tired and sore to properly f*ck her that night.
DO a bit of light exercise?Doing 50 jumping jacks, 30 sit-ups, and 20 push-ups right before you go out are all you need to get your blood flowing (crucial for a good erection), boost your energy, AND visibly make your abs and arms look more defined when you strip down.
DON?T eat any of the following: Red meat, asparagus, garlic, onions, curry, junk food or anything that contains preservatives, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower?
…These foods will make your sperm taste so icky that she won?t want to put your cock in her mouth again ever again!
BUT, if fill you up fresh fruits, vegetable, spices like cinnamon and cardamom, parsley, wheatgrass?and drink LOTS of water?during the day, your cum will taste like candy by sundown;)
DO abstain from various vices: Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, and recreational drugs can also make your sperm taste nasty. PLUS, these bad habits often result in a limp dick and lack of stamina.
DON?T fight or argue?If you want your girl to stay in the mood, don?t pick a fight with her during dinner. Even if there?s something bothering you, that’s not the time to bring it up?confrontation is a major turn off!
?And if you?re looking to take home a girl you just met, you should DEFINITELY avoid any topic that might be controversial?that means no discussing politics, religion, social issues, or sharing overly personal information.
DO throw in a little subtle dirty talk?Rather than talking about heavy subject matter or settling petty disputes, keep the conversation light?and a little dirty;)
?Of course, BEDROOM-style dirty talk isn?t appropriate when you?re out?however if you pepper in some mildly provocative language, playfully naughty jokes, and throw a few specific compliments her way (?your legs look really hot,? or ?your eyes are incredible?), throughout the date, you can get her in a sexy state of mind without her even realizing it!
?.Which means YOU?LL be getting laid at the end of the night for SURE?and that’s definitely better than getting stuck in the doghouse!
BONUS ‘DO’: Take a supplement! This is a no-brainer…a good supplement is the easiest way to protect yourself against a poor performance in the bedroom…
So whether it’s a product you take daily, or one you take shortly before sex…Why NOT let a safe, high-quality formula help you enjoy longer AND harder erections, give you more stamina, and naturally boost your libido…am I right?!
Now, these are the same rituals that the world?s most successful lovers and ladies? men ALL make sure to follow.
But if you?ve routinely been making some of these very common mistakes, DON?T beat yourself up?it?s never too late to change your routine?
And by the way?PSSSST?here?s a little secret: for the most part, girls are pretty understanding if things don?t always go according to plan in bed, so DON?T give up either!
In time, these pre-sex rituals will become second nature?and TRUST ME, you?ll soon see how big of a difference proper sex-prep actually makes;)
Have a great weekend!
About Shawna Lenee Shawnee Lee is a pornographic model and actress.