How to Make it Obvious That Your Date is a Date
You would think that asking people out is a pretty straightforward situation, but it isn’t. Have you ever felt yourself being little vague about whether something is a real date or not in an effort to avoid getting shot down? It happens all the time and women are not always going to assume that you’re going after them if you’re treating a date like a casual hangout. Here’s how to make your intentions known without much more effort.
Saying “hey do you want to hang out sometime” is not asking a woman on a date. Friends hangout, so she will assume that you’re trying to keep things light. Choose a day that is a few days later in the week to show that you’re respecting her time and are comfortable making the effort. Saying “I’d love to take you out on Friday if you’re free” is going to get the point across.
Nothing sends the serious message more than actually calling a girl in this land overrun with texts. It doesn’t really require much effort, but it feels so intentional that it comes off as a sweet gesture. She is going to be more likely to take your date request seriously if you go the extra mile in asking.
Some awesome dates evolve with no plan but at the beginning of a relationship it’s smart to have something planned instead of trying to wing it and come up with something on the fly. It shows more commitment to make a dinner reservation or get tickets to a local concert instead of just opting for drinks. If you do go for drinks, just choose a bar that you’ve been meaning to check out and tell her why you chose it. It lets her know that you were thinking about her and the date leading up to it.
At least give her the option of picking her up for your date, even if it’s in an Uber and not your normal ride. She might turn it down depending on how well you know each other (or not), but again it is the more gentlemanly choice which comes off as respectful and date-like. Plus the drop off gives you a great opportunity to go in for the kiss if everything goes well.
On a casual outing with someone it’s pretty common to split the check, but when you ask a girl out you should be prepared for her to expect you to get it. Some people might find this a little outdated but it’s going pretty strong. Groaning about the bill or complaining about the waiter should be avoided to, you want her to think you’re enjoying this after all.
Checking out the waitress or talking about this girl at work are not going to send her the right signals. Who knows you might get nervous and try to fill the conversation but fill it with something less likely to insult or confuse her. Talking about other women gives off the clear vibe that you’re not looking for something serious, even if you are.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.