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How To: Mixing Sex and Drinking

It makes sex even better…sometimes. College guys seemingly know everything there is to know about sex and alcohol. However, many guys will experience a failed night of love making once in a while thanks to excessive intoxication. Urban Dictionary defines whiskey dick as a man’s failure to get a stiffy, due to too much booze in his system. Pretty self-explanatory. There are certain tips to keep in mind when you are out drinking with friends and know ahead of time that you will be having a visitor later in the night.

BEER BEFORE LIQUOR

Drink smart guys. Sticking to beer for the night will keep you less sloppy and more functional. With every shot you take you are running the risk of a failed performance. You can generally gauge the situation through your own scope. Obviously you adjust your drinking habits if you are out at the bars with a girl opposed to a night out with the guys. An experienced college guy will always know what types of drinks his blood can or cannot handle.

THE MAGIC NUMBER

Every man has a magic drink number found through trial and error. For the average college male, this number may be somewhere in the 7 to 10 range. This is your benchmark. If you surpass this number, don’t plan on satisfying anybody. On the plus side, a man’s prime performance occurs when hitting the magic number range. Your nerves are calmed, you’re relaxed, and you can go all night. This concept will teach you to monitor your drinking at parties and bars.

There’s no need to be embarrassed. If it does happen, you can just blame it on the booze like everything else.  It’s a perfectly legitimate excuse, and will  give your bros something to laugh about at your expense in the morning. If you find this problem is occurring far too often, then you may want to re-evaluate your drinking habits.

Keep the system in your mind: drinking results in alcohol thinning your blood. Getting your, eh hem, love weapon loaded required blood being rushed to that area. If you thin your blood to much, it won’t be as responsive.

CAMPUS CASANOVA’S TAKE

We asked our resident Campus Casanova about drinking and the repercussions when you take a girl back to her place (he refuses to take girls back to his). In short, he came up with three rules to always abide by.

RULE 1:

If you are wining and dining her, remember to drink water to keep yourself feeling buzzed, but not getting hammered.

RULE 2:

If she is out and already hammered and you can tell that she is ready to go, don’t be a fool by getting yourself hammered to oblivion to show that you can keep up with her.

RULE 3:

When you are on the way back to her place, get a bottle of water. Drink the water at every chance you get, this will bring your blood back to a state of regularity eventually, while keeping the feel-good buzz.

Stay thirsty, my friends

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About Cliff Englewood Cliff goes to MSU and is TSB Magazine resident "College Life" contributor with tips and advice to get the most out of your time in college.

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