Dating Hacks for the Socially Awkward Guy
The process of dating is inherently awkward even for social butterflies. It is little wonder that, as a beginner to the world of dating, you are struggling to keep the flow of your dates. These tricks will help you, the socially awkward, conversationally challenged guy, to become a dating pro.
Be a man with a plan
Take the lead with planning your date. The back-and-forth of “what do you want to do?”, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” is annoying and awkward for both parties. Impress your date by telling her that you have something planned. Ideally, you want to plan a multi-part date. This can be as simple as dinner followed by a scenic stroll.
Reverse ‘dinner and a movie’
Dinner followed by a movie is the usual formula for a date. Flip the format upside down by going out to dinner after you catch a movie. This way, you have a guaranteed topic to start you off at dinner. This works especially well if the movie was terrible; you will have much more to say about it than if it was a decent flick.
Stop boring conversation
Socially awkward guys often suffer the flaw of not knowing when to stop talking about their lame hobby. You need to be aware of any topics that you tend to get stuck on, and avoid them. You may not even be able to tell when your date is becoming bored by the conversation, because she may politely nod along. To avoid this trap, focus on her in the conversation. Ask her about herself, and really listen. Think of questions that you can ask her based on what she is saying, and try to find a common interest.
Your conversation skills may need work, but you can make an impression by being chivalrous. Conduct yourself with respect, and demonstrate that you’re a decent person by being polite (including to service staff). Read up on etiquette and master the rules, and your date will think highly of you.
Watch for signals
Being afflicted with social awkwardness means you may not be practiced at reading people. This is not an inherent flaw; reading people is a learnt skill. On a date, you need to watch for two types of signals: good signals, and bad signals. Good signals tell you that she is interested in you, and maybe wants to escalate your interaction such as through touch. Bad signals tell you she is bored, uncomfortable, embarrassed… basically anything you do not want her to be feeling on a date. Missing a good signal is not too much of a problem. Eventually, either you will realise what she is trying to express, or she will make a move. Missing a bad signal is where socially awkward guys tend to fall down. You need to know if you are making her feel uncomfortable or creeped out. In text form, becoming non-responsive, taking a long time to respond, or giving inane responses are indicators that she is creeped out. In real life, these signals are harder to pick up on, but watch out for stunned silences, blurting out stupid responses, glaring, and turning her body away from you.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/