Embracing Sexual Tension
I used to believe, “it either exists with a woman or it doesn’t.”
Like it was some mystical process.
Then a few years back I realized I was completely wrong about this way of thinking.
(I later found out I was wrong about the process of falling in love too)
The fact is, in nature everything happens for a reason.
It rains when there is too much moisture. Certain things have to happen to get the right amount of moisture. Same with electricity.
I was reading a biography of Benjamin Franklin last night. And was reading about his process of discovering how to harness electricity.
And it got me thinking about sexual tension.
See, I like to think of sexual tension as this underlying electricity that exists whenever a man and a woman are together.
(My friend Chris taught me this, and ever since he explained it to me I’ve noticed it with EVERY girl i’ve been in close proximity too)
It ALWAYS exists.
If you’re sitting on the couch with a fat girl and some one else comes and sits on the couch forcing the fat girl to slide closer to you- you’ll feel a small spark of that electricity.
Even if you’re not physically attracted to her, just the mere proximity of a female lets out some of that electricity.
Anytime a man and woman are put close together that electricity can be felt by BOTH of you.
But what do most people do when they feel a spark of electricity.
They are scared of the “shock”.
They pull their hand away.
Sometimes its YOUR FAULT- as you’re the one scared.
Sometimes its the girl’s fault as she gets scared of the tension.
This is why you MUST have a form of lubrication there…
Sometimes enough alcohol does the trick. And two people who normally wouldn’t be attracted to each other wind up in bed.
But alcohol is not a good strategy.
A better strategy is to use forms of “social lubrication”
See, what’s great about all of these is that they allow you both to feel that electricity without being freaked out by it.
It sort of creeps up on you.
Have you ever been in the situation where you’re listening to some girl tell a story, and things are slowing down, and its becoming abundantly clear that there is chemistry being felt by the both of you?
And you sort of “bask in it.”
Or, maybe you’ve been with a girl, and you’re both laughing, giggling, hitting each other, and slowly moving closer and closer together?
Next thing you know you’re leaning in to kiss her…
This is “sexual tension” and “social lubrication” at work…
Its how “hookups” happen.
Its also how you finally get out of the friend zone. (a little alcohol also helps in the friend zone situation 🙂
Its sort of why I call it “The Triangle of Temptation”
It all starts with FUN.
FUN allows that electricity to sneak up on you. It allows the TENSION to slowly build up to a boiling point.
See, people are scared of awkward silences. But there is another type of silence where the magic happens.
Its when you’ve been having fun with a girl, and then the silence happens.
And its NOT awkwardness you feel.
Its the electricity.
And you both know “ITS ON”
If you’re not attracting girls, getting numbers, kisses… it means that you’re probably not creating enough lubrication.
Different guys have different styles they feel comfortable with…
And I have several programs that address the different styles of “lubrication.”
My recommendation is to eventually master them all, because when that happens you become unstoppable with women.
But you MUST master at least one of them if you want to get good at this.
Personally, I’d start with discovering simple ways to have fun, flirtatious, and sexually charged conversations.
That will immediately put you ahead of 85% of the competition who doesn’t know how to do this stuff.
Once you master flirting (and its a lot EASIER to master than you think)- you can move to learn humor formulas that make a girl horny.
Or how to tell a seductive story that reels a woman in…
But you MUST realize and accept that you social lubrication is necessary.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.