How to tell if it is a date
Establishing whether or not you are on a date can be awkward. It is best to do this ahead of time when you are agreeing on a time, make it clear that this is to be a romantic date. However, if you have not done that and prefer to wallow in ambiguity, here are a few ways to determine if it was a date or if you were just hanging out.
Was it planned in advance?
Deciding to go out to lunch with a co-worker five minutes beforehand is not a date. Establishing a day on which you will go out to lunch in advance would imply that it is a date. Putting the date in your diaries early makes it more of an event, rather than a casual catch-up just because the opportunity arose. Planning in advance also gives both parties a chance to cancel if they do not want to go on the date, whereas cornering her for an impromptu catch-up means she may just be going along with seeing you as she does not want to be rude.
Is she dressed up?
A woman will make sure she looks like her best self when on a date. She will be wearing more makeup than usual and will wear something that she knows makes her look hot. Even if she is the laidback type, she will be a little more spruced up than usual; maybe she is wearing her hair out rather than in its usual ponytail. However, if she turns up to your ‘date’ in her usual scruffy attire, she is under the impression that you are casually hanging out as friends.
Is she single?
She may think that any male who asks to spend time with her, knowing that she has a boyfriend, is asking to do so in a platonic way. Meanwhile, you’re thinking that you are getting somewhere with her, despite her not being totally single. If she was looking to cheat, she would likely be a lot more upfront about it; she already has one relationship, she does not need two. You should assume that if she is not single, it is not really a date.
What’s the venue?
Sharing a six pack of nuggets in a smelly fast food chain? Not a date. Chatting over steaks at a swanky restaurant? Definitely a date. The setting makes a huge difference as to whether or not it was a date. You need to be doing something that you would not be doing with a friend. It does not necessarily need to be the most expensive restaurant in town, you could do a cheap romantic activity such as a drive to a lookout point or inviting her to have dinner by candlelight. You should establish what you are doing when you are deciding on a time, so you both know that you are doing a date-like activity. It would be a rude shock for her to walk into a romantic dinner when she thought you were just hanging out.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/