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How to improve your flirting skills without embarrassing yourself

Learning to carry a conversation is a prerequisite for flirting.

Learning to carry a conversation is a prerequisite for flirting.

The best way to learn how to flirt is to just do it.

You cannot learn to have sparkling conversations with the opposite sex without talking to them. However, when you are starting out, you can really embarrass yourself, especially if you are following bad tips. Many guys pick up a copy of The Game and are transformed from terrible conversationalists to being terrible conversationalists with added canned lines.

Learn how to talk to anyone

Before you can run, you must learn to walk. Learning how to carry a conversation is the first step to becoming a master flirt. The good news is, that you do not have to actually talk to many women in order to learn the art of conversation. Every time you talk to a stranger or acquaintance, you are sharpening your skills. Learn to carry a conversation with anyone, regardless of age or sex. You need to learn how to handle different types of conversations, from playful to deep and serious. A greater breadth of experience will help you avoid awkward moments and keep the conversation interesting.

Talk to shop assistants

For those whose social skills are starting from the bottom, you can practice talking with shop assistants. Shop assistants tend to be good at conversation. It’s part of the job. When you’re shopping, instead of avoiding shop assistants, try to have quick conversations with them when they talk to you. This is conversation level one, as they will carry the conversation by asking you about your day, and they will also end the conversation by leaving you to browse.

I am not suggesting you walk into a shop with the intention of wasting the salesperson’s time. Being annoying will not teach you any useful skills. Keep your conversations with them brief and be respectful of their time.

Practice public speaking

Another way to improve your talking ability is to practice public speaking. Joining a group such as Toastmasters may sound completely irrelevant to learning how to flirt, but it will help you to come across as confident when you speak. Public speaking also forces you to enunciate your words clearly. This is important, as it can totally kill the mood when you have to repeat your flirty comment five times because you are mumbling.

Avoid pick-up lines

Once you graduate on to practice talking with actual women, keep it simple to start with. Do not worry about being boring due to your lack of pick-up lines or made-up stories. If you are a novice conversationalist, it will be extremely obvious if you are saying something with the sole goal of being impressive. Instead of relying on canned lines, find your own strategies to make a conversation interesting. Brainstorm a few topics that you can steer a conversation towards, and keep them basic or the conversation will come across as contrived.

Be perceptive

Flirting can be stressful, but be mindful of the other person’s responses. Being able to pick up on social cues will help you immensely when talking to women. Before you have a conversation, remind yourself to be perceptive and responsive.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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