How to flirt with your barista

Will you find love buying your daily coffee?

Is your barista interested in you?

Coffee shops crushes are common, but they usually do not go anywhere.

Be her friend first

You do not want to be just one more out of a string of creepy guys that hit on the barista. I guarantee you that she has heard every coffee-related pick-up line before. She is asked out by random men on a daily basis. It is easy to fall for the smiling girl who hands you your coffee each morning, but this is not the real her. She does not want to have to fend off the advances of yet another guy who is enamoured with her fake smile. In order to make your coffee shop crush go somewhere, you first have to show an interest in getting to know her as a person. You may feel like you know her well because you see her every day, but you do not. You do not need to think of particularly witty questions in order to build rapport. If you come in regularly and ask her how her day has been, and show a genuine interest in her responses, you will make an impression through your consistency.

Put it in your memory

Remember what is going on in her life, and ask her about it. Again, this can be done even if she does not give you any obvious material to work from. For example if she mentions that she starts her job early in the morning, the next day you can ask if she had an early start again. It is not an interesting question, but it will show you are taking a genuine interest in her life.

Talk when there are no customers

It will only annoy her if you are hanging around the counter when she is run off her feet trying to serve customers. You need to have conversations with her in order to become her friend first; this cannot happen when she is busy. Only try to have extended chats with her when it is a quiet time with few customers, and do not be too needy- let her attend to her work first, and talk to you when she gets a minute to relax.

Leave her wanting more

As the customer, you can leave whenever you want. If she likes you, her only option is to wait until you return. Do not be afraid to end a good conversation when it is at its peak. In fact, this will serve you better than continuing the conversation until it becomes uncomfortable. By ending the conversation at a good time, you will leave her wanting more- provided she is actually interested in you.

Read the cues

Flirting with someone who is paid to be there is tricky because you do not know if she likes you, or if she is just doing her job. You need to become an expert at social cues in order to determine if she is interested in you. If you are aware that social cues are not your strong point, make up for this by ensuring you do not take up too much of her time on any one visit.


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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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