How Long Should You Really Be Lasting in Bed?
Our expectations about what should be happening in the bedroom might be a little off. It’s not that we shouldn’t have them…we should, to make the most of the situation for everyone involved. But it’s pretty common for men to think that they’re lacking in the lasting department, when really they’re totally average.
If we take a quick glance at biology, humans are the only animal who try to make sex last. As enjoyable as it is, it’s still a biological function with intent to create life, so being fast at the job is actually preferable as far as nature in concerned. When we lived on the land perhaps having quick sex was favorable, since you’re in a more vulnerable position during the act and aren’t going to prepped to defend yourself from attack. These days that usually isn’t an issue. (Unless you’re getting caught cheating.)
Dr. Landon Trost, M.D., who is a urologist and the Head of Andrology and Male Infertility at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, says that the average American male erection lasts about 13 minutes. That means some are longer, but some are shorter, and other countries like Germany and Europe have even shorter averages.
A lot of people don’t realize how normal it is to finish pretty quickly, and a huge portion of the guys that seek out help for premature ejaculation are actually completely normal. More men seek help for premature ejaculation than for erectile dysfunction, and it can be a really hard thing to treat when there isn’t actually anything wrong besides huge expectations.
For the most part, how long you can hold an erection just has to do with your nervous system, so trusting your own body is one of the best moves you can make. That means don’t stress out about it, since that’s only going to make things worse. There are however, plenty of things that you can do to extend the sex act in the moment if that’s your goal.
One thing to keep in mind, is that you don’t have to be having actual intercourse from start to finish, in fact switching things up is probably the most efficient way to slow yourself down. Plus, that gives you more time to focus on the girl and get her to where she needs to be. Alternate between having sex and pleasuring her in other ways, which will give you a moment to take the edge off before continuing. If you can control your urge to finish and take breaks like that you can actually extend the act for quite a while.
Another way to switch things up is to simply change your speed. If you feel like you’re getting close to coming you might be able to prevent it by just slowing things way down. Unless your girl has complained about it, how long you last in bed shouldn’t really be something to stress about it. And if she has, figure out how to make her come before you even start and then she’ll hardly even notice.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.