Subtle Things that Can Really Piss Her Off
Many men and women have some differences in communication styles, but how we ever supposed to know what they are if we don’t talk about it? Here are some common (and mostly well intentioned) things that men do to piss women off and why.
If you ask her if she’s willing to do something new in bed and she isn’t, asking her every day is not going to make her change her mind. It’s not that she won’t change her mind ever because she might, but she wants to feel comfortable and anything that feels like pressure isn’t going to ease her into it. When you continue to press the issue she isn’t going to think of it as a new adventure, she’s going to hear a dissatisfied man and might start to feel insecure about your sex life. After asking once try switching the conversation to see if there’s anything new she would like to try and open the conversation from that direction.
Some women need to talk out their thoughts and issues a lot which is a form of venting, not always an invitation for someone to jump in and try to fix things. Sounds weird, but it’s true. If you jump in with a simple solution too quickly she will not only feel like you aren’t hearing her, but might also feel like you’re trivializing her feelings by brushing them off. If this happens too often you can try asking her if she’s asking for advice or just wants to vent for a while. Odds are she will want to hear your thoughts and opinions (especially if they actually help with the problem), but she also wants to know that you understand where she’s coming from.
A lot of couples fall into the trap of fighting to be right instead of communicating to get to the heart of the issue. You shouldn’t feel the need to prove your dominance to her by being right all the time, the real marker of self confidence and strength is being able to admit to your mistakes and faults in an effort to grow and become a better person. Additionally you don’t always have to come across like an expert in every field either, if you aren’t. When you act like a know it all at her expense you can inadvertently be giving her the vibe that what she knows isn’t as important as what you know, which can end up clamming her up and making her less responsive. Of course anything that limits communication isn’t the way to go.
There is always bound to be a few differences in the way you treat your girl in private versus in front of your friends, but when you turn into a different person it can make her feel really uncomfortable because she doesn’t understand where she fits in. You don’t need to coddle her when you’re out together, but you should acknowledge that she exists and talk to her like a normal person so that your friends will engage with her as well.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.