You Can Pay this Company to Dump Someone For You
Breaking up is never fun, but if you’re seriously overwhelmed by the pressure of finding the right thing to say when you do it, there’s a new option out there. You can actually pay a company called The Breakup Shop to do your breaking up for you.
Here’s how it works. For ten dollars they will create a breakup text or email, for twenty dollars they will create a breakup letter (or 30 dollars if you want it customized). If you want someone from their team to call and do the breakup for you, that will cost you $29 and up. Soon the company will even be adding $5 breakups that can be done over Snapchat.
Scheduling and arranging the breakups can take up to three days, but if you’re in a huge hurry to end things you can always pay more for the rush option. If you’re thinking that it seems strange to pay this much money to get out of doing a breakup yourself, you’re probably not alone.
The company has acknowledged the money factor and claims to be operating on the premise that:
“People are already paying services like Tinder to get them in a relationship, why not pay a service to get you out of one?”
The Breakup Shop also has a gift shop where you buy stuff for your newly single ex, if you’re the kind with a guilty conscience. Items include options like a set of wine glasses or a copy of The Notebook. Touche.
The problem we see with hiring an outside to do a breakup for you, is that it won’t bring the proper closure to most situations. We tend to think that honest communication is the way to go whenever possible, which means giving her the space to ask questions and digest what you’re saying.
Plus, when someone knows they’re getting ready for a conversation then they can prepare a bit, as opposed to getting a random phone call from a stranger when they’re not expecting it. Bad timing alone can make breakups a lot harder. Don’t dump her on her lunch break before she has a big presentation to do, perhaps wait instead for the evening or even the weekend.
It’s not your responsibility to protect someone through a breakup exactly, but you always want to act like a decent human even if it’s just for your own sense of closure. You don’t want to feel like there is unfinished business simply because you handled a conversation poorly.
However, there are always those circumstances where sitting down to talk with someone really isn’t the best option. For example, some people won’t take no for an answer no matter how many times you try to tell them it’s over. In those circumstances it actually can be the most appropriate option to seal the breakup with one letter or text of resignation.
Just be sure that when you’re choosing between breakup options you can tell the difference between making the right choice and the easy choice.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.