Are You Dating A Sociopath?
The first date went well. You had good food and great wine; you laughed, flirted, kissed, and maybe even groped each other a little. The second date was just as exciting. And the sex afterwards was mind blowing. Since then, you have established yourselves as a couple—or perhaps you’ve just decided that she’s the only girl you want to date for now. But things have gotten a little odd. You’re starting to notice certain behaviors, comments, and responses that make you feel uncomfortable—signs that warn of approaching danger. She never mentions any friends, she never takes any responsibility for the shortcomings and failures she endlessly complains about, and you’ve caught her in several lies. Take care. You might just be dating a sociopath.
Men are typically portrayed as sociopaths in films and other forms of popular culture. The fact is, however, that women are just as prone to this pathology. Sociopaths have huge egos. They are extreme narcissists who feel at once that the world is against them and that it owes them everything. They blame everyone else for their failures and have a large sense of entitlement.
The trouble is that sociopaths tend also to be quite charming and delightful to be around at times. Although they lack the ability to truly empathize with others, they have a deep understanding of what moves the human heart. A sociopath can make you feel like you are the most wonderful person in the world. She knows how to flatter, manipulate, and do all that is necessary to bend you to her will—to wrap you around her finger. This is all part of her general condition as a sociopath: to use people only to satisfy her needs.
It is sometimes difficult to distinguish a sociopath from a woman who is genuinely pleasant and fun loving. But here are a few red flags.
Sociopaths tend to lie for the sake of lying. If you have noticed that the girl you’re dating tells falsehoods about the most trivial of matters, you should take that as a warning. Since sociopaths thrive on deceit and manipulation she may be trying to see if she can trick you—to determine how gullible you are.
Sociopaths are constitutionally incapable of empathy. They are indifferent to the suffering and pain of others. If you notice that your girl is able to look at exceptionally hideous or disturbing images without batting an eye, it may be a sign that you’re dating a sociopath. Another indicator is if she exhibits an eerie calm in dangerous circumstances.
Everyone likes a rebel. You may have your own moments of wanting to break the rules and live out of bounds for a while. Sociopaths take this to the extreme. They don’t believe that social norms and conventions, nor even the laws of the land, apply to them. They will set out to break laws, and they will look for ways to upset the peace of any group just for their own satisfaction.
The ethos of the sociopath is if it feels good, do it. If you are dating a sociopath, you may feel that you are with the most exciting and sensuous girl ever. She may be up for—nay, may be the one who encourages—blowjobs in the elevator, hand jobs while you’re driving, and fucking in public places where the two of you might get caught. But such excitement comes at a price. Eventually, she will push you to do non-sexual things that could lead to ruin.
Sociopaths don’t have any real life aims. They bounce from goal to goal on a whim. If you notice that the girl you’re dating is passionate about one thing one day and something else the next, then look out: you could be with a sociopath. Constant financial trouble—especially debts from entertainment and luxury spending—is also a sign of sociopathic behavior.
You should, of course, avoid jumping to any conclusions about the girl you’re dating. There may be good alternative reasons why she exhibits one or two of the signs above. But if all of these symptoms are present, then you might want to take a closer look at who it is you’re sharing your bed, your money, and your life with.
Here is another article on the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/01/24/the-4-types-of-women-you-should-avoid/
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.