How NOT to Have an Affair
Affairs have become big business. Websites like Ashley Madison and articles offering pointers on how to get away with having a bit on the side have gone from the fringe to the mainstream and now having an affair is often seen as part and parcel with being in a committed relationship. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
If you want to know how to NOT have an affair, then you need to know what pushes so many into the arms of another. That’s exactly what we’ve rounded up here. Addressing these five areas will ensure your relationship remains the commitment you keep.
Fight With Your Partner – This may seem counter-intuitive at first but fighting with your partner is a great way to avoid having an affair. Many times, people have an affair because they’ve become exasperated and resentful with their partner over time. Usually, the issues that contribute to these feelings aren’t even a big deal. Instead, it’s little things like doing the dishes or leaving the dog bowls scattered. The little daily things that can become big things if you don’t clear the air occasionally. Instead of letting things slide and pile up, be up front about what’s bugging you on the daily. Not only will it encourage better communication for little and BIG issues, it’ll give you plenty of chances for hot make up sex.
Have Fun – Of course, you don’t want to be a couple that only communicates by fighting. Be sure to include fun times too. As a relationship gets older, it can be harder to schedule in Date nights but they’re absolutely vital. Make it a point to engage in activities you both enjoy on a regular basis. If you’re busy having fun with the person you love, you won’t have the time or inclination to look at anyone else.
Spice Up Your Sex Life – It’s hard to deny that sex drives us (and sometimes it drives us crazy.) Keeping the sex hot within a marriage is a sure-fire way to stop a wandering eye for both partners, but of course it’s not as simple as that. For men in particular the draw of multiple women is ever-present and sometimes hard to resist if sex with our regular partner is getting stale. However, there is an interesting, yet surprisingly effective way to ‘conquer’ this desire, and it’s an idea that comes from Taoism.
The next time you have sex try refraining from ejaculation. Instead, wait until your lady has orgasmed and then finished without coming. You can even try and make her ejaculate, whilst you hold back. How’s that for role reversal? If you feel like you have blue balls after, try deep breathing and learn about the microcosmic orbit (a term from Taoist parlance.) Some Taoists practitioners believe that men begin to unconsciously resent their partner for taking away their ‘life force’. Whatever way you look at it though, your sex drive and sexual desire for her will massively increase; you won’t be able to get enough of her.
For the woman, having a man who has an insatiable sexual appetite for you is highly appealing and makes it much less likely she’ll be tempted to stray. When the guy doesn’t ejaculate it puts much more emphasis on the woman, and making sure she reaches orgasm. In no uncertain terms, this method turns sex from an act that is about getting, to one that is about giving. What could be more powerful for the long-term health of any relationship?
Get Adventurous – This applies to activities in AND out of the bedroom. Go out and have fun with new activities like snow shoeing, sledding or zip lining. Back at home, be open to trying some adult fun, too.
Be Vulnerable – Opening up to your partner strengthens the bond between you and, once again, encourages better, clearer and more honest communication. Being vulnerable in a relationship that’s been around awhile can be difficult, especially as we tend to think we’ve already shared everything there is to share. But the fact is we’re all continuing to grow as people so don’t be afraid to open up about the issues, ideas and problems that leave you feeling confused and alone.
Be Inclusive – Incorporate your friends and co-workers into your routine. Working with people at the office during lots of late night and weekend hours? Set up a time for your partner to swing in during lunch to meet everyone. Not only does this firmly establish that you’re in a relationship to your co-workers or friends, it also sends a clear message to your partner that you’re not hiding anything. Living honestly and openly is, hands down, the best way to avoid the secretive nature required to have an affair.
No relationship is 100% affair-proof but dealing with the issues that usually inspire affairs is one way to ensure your commitment and your trust remains intact. Relationships don’t maintain themselves. Instead, they need to be taken care of and maintained as each person grows and changes. While this sounds like a lot of work, in the end, it’s about investing in the happiness and future you both want – one that includes each other no matter what.
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About Laura Varnishe Laura writes at School Of Squirt, so when she isn’t helping guys and girls get their ‘diploma in a wild sex life’ she can be found playing tennis or drinking a healthy smoothie