How to dodge the second date

Turning her down after a bad first date

A first date is all about getting to know the other person. Sometimes you get to know them, and you find out that you do not like them all that much.

If she is keen on making a second date, you need to let her down. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially if she has assumed there will be a second date and is already throwing ideas at you. Nip it in the bud if you can, but if you are already long past that stage, you will have to just tell her even though it is uncomfortable.

Don?t use being busy as an excuse

It is so easy to turn down a date by saying you are too busy. Unfortunately, some girls won?t get the hint. A particularly na?ve woman may take your excuse on face value, and continue trying to schedule a date with you. Avoid this problem by not hiding behind the excuse of not having time.

The gentle text

Pre-emptively destroy the possibility of a future date by letting her down over text. This must be done in the hours following your date- especially if she texts you first. The nicest way to do it is to thank her for the date, but say that you are incompatible. Note that this comes off as incredibly rude if you moved your date to the bedroom.

No contact

It take a lot of guts to come out and say that you do not want a second date, even if it is only over text. For an easier but less effective approach, simply do nothing. Do not contact her after the date for any reason. No texting, certainly no calling, and no liking her photos. Give her nothing that could be seen as a signal. Hopefully this will give her the hint. However, if she calls or texts you, you will be forced to either ghost her or have a direct conversation.

The direct approach

Take away any ambiguity and tell her you do not want a second date. The direct approach is almost always effective in the dating world, and it is especially true in this case. If you tell her you are not interested, she is not going to argue with you. She might be hurt or offended, but that is not your problem. If you share friends, you will have to do this in a careful and tactful manner or your reputation will be hurt.

Don?t give her honest feedback

So you have told her that you do not want to see her again. She may ask you why. Stay well away from this question, particularly if it really is her and not you. Telling her that she is too heavy for your liking is not going to help her in the future, and if you share social circles, it will cause a huge drama bomb. Nothing good can come of giving her honest feedback, so just do not do it, no matter how tempting it may be.



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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at:

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