Study Finds the Key to Keeping the Passion Alive Long Term
At the beginning of any romantic relationship it’s hard to imagine that the passion in the bedroom can ever sizzle out, and yet it does happen sometimes, because the rest of life happens. But it doesn’t have to, and some researchers set out to figure out some specific way to keep the passion alive long term.
According to a survey done at Chapman University, 57 percent of men who are in long term relationships could be happier with the sex that they’re having. But 32 of the rest of the group said they had no problem keeping the passion alive and the sex good. The researchers asked those happy people just how they were doing it, and here’s what they said.
Keeping the passion alive isn’t just about what happens in the bedroom, it has to do with general affection and closeness in the day to day of being in a relationship. Any chance you have to be physical in other words is more likely to keep the fire lit. This doesn’t mean you have to make out all over town, but a casual tap on the butt or randomly kissing her neck here and there can go a long way.
Most people who are having good sex are actually talking about it, which not only fosters openness and closeness but can specifically iron out any kinks that might occur. Talking about sex in any way can help make it better, so speak up about things you like or things that you would like to try. Everyone responds well to positive reinforcement, so telling her how hot something was or just how sexy she is can keep the mood elevated in and out of the bedroom.
Think about it, the happier she is in the bedroom, the more she’s going to want to do it, and the more sex you’re having the better the chances are that it’s going to be good. Only 66 percent of the women surveyed said they reach climax during sex most of the time, so anything you can do to increase that is going to help. If you don’t know, asking is a pretty handy tool.
There’s nothing wrong with having your favorites and go-to’s, but people who report sexual satisfaction over the long term are more likely to switch things up here and there. This can be trying new positions, bringing in some sex toys, or even just lingerie. Some research has suggested that switching things up can help increase the chances of her coming, so it’s worth a shot.
According to this research only about 17 percent of people take the time to set the mood by doing things like lighting candles or putting on some sexy music, but you might want to think about it. Creating an intimate setting was the second most important factor for sexual satisfaction in the bedroom, which was only topped by the quality of the relationship.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.