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What is “ghosting” and why does she do it?

Why did she ghost you after the second date?

Why did she ghost you after the second date?

When she pulls a vanishing act instead of dumping you

In dating terminology, “ghosting” is when the person you are seeing just stops contacting you for no apparent reason. If you have been on a couple of dates with a girl you thought you clicked with, only to suddenly never hear from her again, you have been ghosted.

Being ghosted can really throw you off. If she told you that it is not working out for whatever reason, you could accept that. You may even learn how to handle future relationships better. But when you are ghosted, you never know why it has happened. Did she find someone else? Did she think you wanted a fling while she wanted a relationship? Did she find you unattractive? Did she hate your haircut? Not getting that feedback can really do a number on your self-esteem.

This article explores some common reasons why women do the disappearing act rather than communicating that they no longer wish to see you.

She doesn’t want to deal with a bad reaction

Many women have had bad experiences trying to let guys down gently. Ask any girl you know- chances are, she has a story about a guy who went nuts at her when she told him she was not interested. This can often play out when you have gone on a few dates. In your mind, she has been leading you on by accepting your dinner invites only to decide she is not into you. In her perspective, she tried to give you a chance or even a few chances, but ultimately you didn’t make the cut. Paying for dinner is just the price of admission. By doing the slow fade, you will get the hint but you will not have any clear opportunity to go off at her. You may be thinking that this does not apply to you as you would accept her rejection gracefully, but she has no way of knowing that.

You blew it in the last date

She has suddenly lost interest after a seemingly fun date. Clearly, it was not so fun for her. You may not know exactly what went wrong. It could be anything from bad breath, to her noticing Tinder on your home screen, to her being offended that you did not pull out her chair at dinner. It is worth asking why she lost interest, if you are unable to figure it out yourself. You may not get a response, or you may receive some valuable information about how you come across to others.

She is keeping you in the wings

It is fairly common these days to date a few people at the same time. Unfortunately, she picked some other guy to become exclusive with. Or perhaps she got back with an ex. Either way, she has deliberately failed to inform you of her new relationship because she wants to keep you as an option. She is not sure if her new relationship will work out, so she is hedging her bets. The only way you will find out is when you eventually get a late-night text from her, or through some careful social media sleuthing.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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