The rules for asking out your friend
Having a crush on a friend is a common experience, and it can be tricky to negotiate this situation. You have no idea if she is interested in you, and you do not even know how she would respond to your interest. Here is your foolproof guide to asking out your friend- without embarrassing yourself.
You may already be friends, but this does not mean you skip the flirting stage. In fact, flirting is a crucial step to getting out of the friend zone. You will have to flirt rather obviously to signal your interest. Wait and see if she reciprocates before making any further moves. If she does not seem receptive to your flirtations, you have your answer- so do not proceed with asking her out.
Don’t confess your undying love
There is a difference between asking her out and confessing your feelings. When asking her out, you are confident and not too invested in her answer. If she says no, you can continue being friends, and you will not go home and cry into your pillow. A confession of your feelings, however, puts you in a vulnerable position. That is not attractive at all, and it will just freak her out.
Another reason to avoid confessing the depths of your feelings: she will think you are putting her on a pedestal- and she is probably right. It is common to think you are ‘in love’ with your friend, but until you have been together as a couple rather than just friends, you really do not know. This is because people tend to act differently with their partner rather than their friends. Wait until you have experienced a relationship with her before you declare your feelings.
Have a low-key conversation
The best way to ask her out is to keep it simple- just ask her. Do not do any romantic gestures. Save the romance for after you know that she reciprocates your feelings. If she does not feel anything towards you, any attempt to woo her will come across as creepy. Forget any ideas such as making her a love-song mixtape or asking her out publicly. Have a private, low-pressure conversation. If she says no, drop the issue. If she says yes, don’t take this as your cue to let your feelings come tumbling out. Don’t tell her how long you have been interested in her for- avoid this and any other similar questions at all costs.
Make the first date a special one
You successfully scaled the wall of the friend zone, and have scored a date with your friend. This point is actually where the hard work begins. As friends, you already know each other fairly well, and you may have even hung out on a one-on-one basis. Your task is to make your upcoming date distinctly date-like. You do not want to overwhelm her (see the point above about not confessing your love), but you also want to make the first date special. A romantic dinner date or a cute picnic in picturesque surrounds will do the trick.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/