The Secret to Attracting Women Without Thinking: An Excerpt from Rob’s Upcoming Book
I just finalized my upcoming e-book “The 4 Elements of Game:: Balance Your Sexiest Features to Attract the Girls You REALLY Want” and want to share with TSB a section of the book on “Inspiration.” To attract quality women, a man must balance his 4 core elements of game, which are drive, inspiration, connection, and mechanics. That’s the focus of the book, as the title implies. Enjoy!
Expressing who you are—your identity—comes directly from your inspiration. I learned this the hard way, after a long evening of women blowing me off. That night I went out just itching to meet girls. The previous couple weeks I’d had some success, so I was extra excited to hit the club and repeat all the things that had recently worked for me.
But that night, the girls were not interested. And the harder I tried, the quicker I failed! I couldn’t believe it—I was doing the exact same things I’d done only a few days prior, yet the response was night and day.
After I’d tried approaching every respectable girl I could find, I called it a night and left. On my walk to the subway, I spotted a group of girls huddled under a restaurant awning. A tall beauty stood in the middle of the group, telling a story. One more, I told myself, marching up to the beauty. “Hey, you’re adorable. I had to meet you. I’m Rob,” I announced.
She rolled her eyes and gave me a look like, ‘Here we go again…’
The surrounding girls took that as a cue to jump in, bombarding me with every insult imaginable. It was like one of those old kung fu movies where the samurai thinks he’s come to rescue the girl, but it’s a trap and a school of ninjas jump out, forcing him to fight them all. One-by-one, I deflected each nasty comment, responding in a cool, detached way.
Suddenly the boss fatty of the group emerged, stepping to me with a scowl.
“Let me get a picture of your scrotum,” she croaked.
“Sure,” I smiled. “Right after I get a picture of yours.”
Shocked, she replied, “How can I have a SCROTUM? I’m a GIRL!”
In my best Tony Montana voice, I questioned, “Whoeva sez yous was one?”
She exploded, “WHO IS THIS KID?!” but then backed off.
I took that as an opportunity to turn back to the beauty. “Hey, so I’m Rob,” I repeated, but now she gazed at me with starry eyes and introduced herself. Neither of us let go of each other’s hand…
As I held this girl’s embrace, I realized the ultimate goal of inspiration is to chill and express your identity. Once I got inspired, it guided the interaction. But, I couldn’t access my inspiration in the venue because I was trying too hard. My recent success had set my expectations high, believing I was getting girls because of something I was doing—not who I am.
When I approached the group of girls under the awning, their clamoring and insults snapped me back to reality. I’m not a collection of one-liners and witticisms—I’m Rob. Likewise, you’re you. As nasty and mean as those girls were (and man, they were!), I’ll always appreciate the truth they showed me: drop the pretenses and express who you are.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.