What if she doesn’t text back?
I find the decision on the part of woman not to return a text so rude, inconsiderate, discourteous, and just plain mean that my general line on the subject is to let her go. Forget her, banish her from your thoughts, go out and look for someone new and get on with your life.
But I realize that it is not that simple for every guy.
The girl you met may have blown your mind with her sexiness, charm, and conversation. It is especially bad if she gave you the impression that she was really into you. The sisters can be funny like that.
At the time, she may have believed that she really did like you, and then afterward decided that she could do better or acknowledged some reality that prevents her from going any further with you.
Drink is not required to induce this form of mild psychosis. A perfectly sober woman may one minute be ready to get you in the sack and the next minute act as though she never met you, as if you never spoke, laughed, or flirted, as though nothing ever happened.
In the end, there may be nothing you can do if she doesn’t text you back. Solace is the next best thing. You can come to grips with why you were thrown over before you even had a chance to get in the saddle by understanding the possible behind it.
The first thing to note is that she got the text. No one ever misses a text message. Anyone who says they did not see a text is lying. It just doesn’t happen. All of us are constantly on our phones, we respond to every buzz and beep, like crack addicts we are nervous and fidgety until we get our next electronic fix.
She saw your message; she, like everyone else in the modern world, lives to read texts, emails, and social media messages on the phone. She chose to ignore it.
Why? Well, let’s explore that.
She might already have a boyfriend.
Women do this all the time. When they are out with their friends, they like to flirt with other men. They can help it no more than we can when we go out with the fellas. She may have given you her number as an act of self-gratification.
The feeling of giving a guy her number and having him pursue her makes a woman feel sexy and desirable. Even a woman who is serious and puts up a front of innocence likes the feeling of being courted by a complete stranger. But if she is happy in her relationship she will go no further than that.
If she is interested, she will return your text within 24 hours of you sending it.
But do not be discouraged if you don’t hear anything back within a day. Life sometimes gets in the way. She may actually want to go out with you, but is dealing with an exceptionally heavy load at work or is in the midst of some crisis in her family.
She may hold off on returning your text because she actually does like you and wants to find the time to send you a thoughtful and interesting message. If you haven’t heard from her after 3 days, it means she’s not interested.
If the 2 of you have been exchanging texts for some time and she suddenly stops, then she has probably lost interest or has put you in the hated friend zone.
Keep in mind that you are not the only guy she talks to. If she is single, available, and hot, then she probably has more than a dozen guys blowing up her cell at all hours of the day. They are probably all good looking and have their stuff together on the job front. Unless you are able to engage her in a way that stands out from the rest, she will probably stop sending you texts.
Can you redeem yourself if you are dropped in so unceremonious manner?
It is possible. My advice is to go along with the casualness of the situation. Don’t invite her out on a date; invite her instead to some event or gathering that you think she might be interested in: a gallery opening, an art exhibition, a wine tasting event—something of that sort. Be sure to mention that you are going to it with a group of friends, so it doesn’t seem like you’re asking her to be your date for the thing.
She will blow you off the first couple of times, but she might eventually accept an invitation. You really have nothing to lose, so you may as well go for it.
About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.