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Your online dating game is weak. Here’s the way to fix it.

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Ways to make yourself stand out from the rest on dating sites.

Are dating sites frustrating for you?

Do you never seem to get enough views, messages or replies?

Have you stopped to wonder why?

In most cases, the answer is simple; your profile is not up to par.

It is easy to think that if you create a dating profile, women are going to start hitting you up immediately. If your profile is sub-par, this won’t happen. If you understand the psychology of dating sites and how activities of men and women differ, you can understand the need for a dynamic profile.

Women don’t have many challenges on dating sites. They are women; thus, men line up for a chance to date or sleep with them immediately. Dating sites and real life are the same in this respect. If a woman walks into a bar and says, “I wish I could get laid tonight.”, she will be swamped with men. Should a man do the same thing, he might be laughed out of the bar.

Women typically have a swarm of messages in their inbox on dating sites. Their options are wide open, with men of all types vying for attention. How the hell are you going to make a difference when you are part of a mob scene trying to get in her panties? You are going to have to be smarter than the rest, and set yourself apart.

To stand out, you must focus on your approach and profile. Your approach is the first stage to getting the message read, and your profile is the second stage before full launch.

What the hell do I say?

Online communication seems to be a challenge for many. Most people have a “text message” mentality when speaking to others. When trying to get someone’s attention, abbreviated messages don’t cut it. Common opening messages on dating sites, from men, are often one or two words like “Hey.”, “What’s up?”, “How are you doing?”.

This isn’t communication. This isn’t grabbing attention or interest. Most women are looking at their full inbox and if the subject line/message is “What’s up?”, the message is probably being deleted before read. The assumption is that the message doesn’t hold much value.

If you want to make your initial message stand out, say something of value.

  • Hi, I just checked out your profile and think we have a lot in common. I really liked…
  • Hey, just saw your profile and you have a great smile. I liked what you said about…
  • I’m (insert name here) and I thought we could chat sometime. I am looking for someone who…

Those examples are conversation starters. They show that you are thinking with more than your dick. Even if the site is about hooking up and sex, “You wanna?” still is not going to generate interest. Sure, it takes a bit of effort, but you must read her profile. Otherwise, you need to send out “You wanna?” to every woman and hope you get some action from the numbers game.

Put some thought into a message. It doesn’t take long, and your message stands out. She may not respond, but it won’t be because of the message.

Would you date that guy?

The next big failure can be prevented when first signing up to a site. Your profile is the key to getting past all the “first date bullshit.” Most dating sites have a pretty solid profile setup, that lets you input plenty of info about yourself.

Most men keep it minimal or show their immaturity. What you say and what you show are important to making her want more. Your profile needs to instill a sense of comfortability with meeting you in person. Women are looking for red flags and issues, since they have a large pool of guys to choose from.

First, your tagline should create interest, not boredom.

  • 28-year-old male seeks female = NOT interesting
  • Just trying this out. = NOT interesting
  • Seeking an adventurous lady with a head on her shoulders = intriguing/interesting!
  • Looking for a woman who can handle a strong man = challenge/interesting!
  • I’m not looking for sex…unless you are? = humorous/interesting!

Notice how the more interesting taglines make her think, laugh or feel something. This is what you want, as this prompts them to look deeper.

Second, your “About” section. Stop acting like you don’t have anything to say about yourself. Are you really that unaware of who you are? My guess is that in a room full of buddies, you talk about yourself a lot. So, put it out there.

Your “About” should give her some idea of a few interests, where you are from, something about your life/career or things that give her something to think about. Consider some of the questions asked on a first date or in early conversation. These are great to put in your profile and get it out of the way. Now you can talk about more important things in conversation.

Third, if the site has a section for “What I’m Looking For”, use it. Put out some general “wants” men want from a woman. Don’t just say sex, hooking up, blow-job, etc. Think about things you would want in a long-term partner. Keep things somewhat broad/general, so you don’t lose interested women who don’t meet rigid “Want” criteria.

You are feeding emotional needs with women through your profile, so set up like you are looking for a long-term partner. Even if you are looking for casual dating or hook ups, women are more open, receptive and willing to please a man that meets her emotional needs.

Finally, upload the right photos. Put some photos up that show who you are. A photo of you standing in the bathroom with your shirt off is like showing a slab of meat in a butcher’s shop. Women don’t want just meat, they want substance. Show how you look when dressed to impress. Show something athletic (yes without a shirt if you want), fun or with friends. Show photos that prove you have a life and something to offer besides some abs and boxer shorts.

Everything about your dating site profile and activity needs to play to a woman’s psychology. If not, then you are just another nameless face in her inbox. Give here something to think about, because thinking is the way to a woman’s heart and into her pants. Take some time, make a strong profile and send smart messages. It will be the difference between 1 date every 3 months and multiple dates every month.

About R. S. Brasher

A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.

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