You Can Control Women, In and Out of the Bedroom
What does the word control mean to you? Is it about controlling your environment and the people around you? Perhaps it is the control you have of your body; how it evolves and remains healthy?
Not to burst your bubble, but these are things you are not truly in control of. Yes, you can have an impact on directing factors and events in your life; however, there is still the chaos factor, and no one controls that.
When it comes to women, control is a tricky subject. Many men, and women, are simply controlling, domineering and unable to nurture behavior in their partner. If you understand how to control your partner–also referred to as dominance–you enable them to be their best, in and out of the bedroom.
First off, let me clear up any confusions. There have been recent books and movies portraying “dominance” as aggressive, bordering on assault. While it has brought the BDSM community into the spotlight, it has cast more disparaging shadows on the lifestyle.
This is not what true BDSM dominance is. In the lifestyle, roles are negotiated, understood and restricted by needs and boundaries of the submissive. Play is consensual and controlled, unlike glorified abuse in media.
Understanding that, you next need to know that dominant control does not require entering the BDSM lifestyle. This kind of control is about engendering an open, nurtured atmosphere, whereby your partner is inclined to satisfy your current mental, emotional and/or physical needs.
Human women, as a species, have always been the more submissive gender. Throughout history, this has been apparent, even as society has evolved. Look at life in the 1950s for example. Women were mostly homemakers. They took care of the family and normally submitted to the will of the male bread winner.
This was not forced on them, though society expected this behavior. However, times changed. Women became more vocal about independence, culminating in the rise of feminism through the 70’s. But, this societal evolution did not remove the base instincts women have. The desire to be nurturing, and even submissive, still resides in most women today.
To generate the right response from a woman, you need an Alpha male approach. An Alpha male is one that exhibits controlled dominance in most, or all situations. This doesn’t require being a braggart, or having an ego the size of Texas. This means you are in control of your emotions, your actions, and exercise patience with those around you.
Women respond to strength. No, not muscle strength. This is about inner strength. Fortunately, this does not require a sweaty workout and exhaustion. It is about a mindset. You do not take shit from anyone. Your “presence” accomplishes this, not your mouth.
Strong men groom themselves well. They dress well. They keep themselves in good health and physical shape. Strong men walk into a room and their presence makes others take note. Women, upon seeing this type of man, are instinctively attracted. Their base desire to nurture and provide, kicks in at a sub-conscious level.
When you command a room with your presence, women are open to approach. Even if there is no love connection, they will give the opportunity to find out. Remember this though, dominating through physical presence is one thing you can destroy when you open your mouth.
You may be able to “walk the walk”, but if you cannot “talk the talk”, you will flounder with women. Dominant control requires that you say things in a way that generates a desire to please and comply. Alpha males direct others through commands that are not pushy or domineering.
One essential part of dominant control is being a gentleman with manners. Many men are aggressive or engender fear with their talk. This pushes women away. A man in control uses etiquette and tact to control.
When talking to a woman, build intrigue by not saying too much. She will ask questions, and your responses should contain enough mystery to prompt more questions, without being shady or secretive. This places her in a submissive mindset as she tries to figure you out. She becomes increasingly eager to know more, and use that knowledge to best please you.
During the conversation, interject commands. Do not ask things like “Do you want to…?”, “Would you like to…?” Instead, tell her what to do or what you want. Use commands like “Let’s have a drink.”, “Come with me.”, “Walk with me.”, “I’d like to sit with you.”
Notice that these commands do not “ask”; they tell, politely. You are not a bully, you are a leader. Your dominating presence and mannered speech will direct her to comply. If she is attracted to you, she wants to comply. As you progress with her, you can continue this kind of commanding speak right into the bedroom.
The very nature of sex places men and women into roles. Men penetrate, women receive. This base psychology positions men as dominant. Granted, some women take the dominant role in bed, but generally it is up to men.
Remember, this dominance is not coming from a BDSM perspective. While it may be common for BDSM play to include spankings, floggings or controlled torture, dominant control during sex is tamer.
When things are turning to intimacy, use dominant control to guide the encounter. Build her comfort level through command. Tell her what you want:
Again, you are not demanding, you are commanding. There is no harshness or overt aggression. If you have maintained this control throughout, she is used to complying. Use this to make her tell you what she wants as well.
These direct her to answer, even beg, for what she wants. Do not be surprised to hear “Yes, please” from her. Even though some are questions, they drive her to release inhibitions and be more compliant.
Women are complex beings. I won’t lie and say they are easy to figure out. Ultimately though, most women want some amount of dominance in their life, even if they are not vocal about it. You are playing to a subconscious need, so be in control from the beginning.
Practice dominant control in your daily life. It works with men as well. Having this alpha mentality can improve your day to day interactions with people. It can improve your working and personal relationships as well. If you begin to “wear” this persona daily, it becomes second nature. Women will be drawn to you and more willing to see what you have to offer.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.