Will Your Relationship Survive The New Year?
The beginning of the New Year is a time of reflection for most people. It is a time to take stock of what you accomplished in the previous year and what you hope to achieve in the one ahead.
The latter need not consist in New Year’s resolutions—which are nothing more than mental crutches for lame assess who lack the guts and fortitude to make their will and ambition count in the world throughout the year—but should instead be a brief moment of contemplation of what you mean to do in 2018.
However long you spend in this state of mental inventory you should be aware of one thing: if you question whether you will be with the same person by the end of 2018, it is a sign that you probably will not.
This seems like an extreme statement, but I have always believed that individuals choose to end relationships: they are not ended by “irreconcilable differences” and other such poppycock.
Here are a few signs that you or your girlfriend are about to end your relationship.
Yes, guys cheat. We all know this. You may have had one or two tumbles after nights of drinking with the fellas. You discounted them as mistakes and never saw fit to share your infidelity with your girl. But there is a world of difference between a few random alcohol fueled fuck fests and constant attempts to get other girls into bed with you.
Not even the daily fantasies you may have of banging your co-workers or the bartender at your local comes near to a methodical and persistent effort to have sex with just about everyone woman who catches your fancy. If this has been your practice over the past year, you have clearly reached the limit of your commitment to the girl you are with, and it is best to break things off as soon as you can.
Why? Because you will eventually succeed, if you haven’t already, in bedding one of the babes you’ve been after. And that success will lead to more successes. Before long it will be as though you are not in a relationship at all. Your girl will find out—sooner rather than later—and break it off with you. It is better to take the initiative and put an end to things in a calm and civilized way.
Becoming bored with your girl has nothing to do with her level of energy or willingness to go out and do things. In fact, the most boring women on earth tend to be the most gregarious.
Nor is boredom synonymous with routine and predictability. Men tend to like a bit of order and structure in their love lives; and if you are both career professionals you cannot expect her to hang from the ceiling every night to get you off in bed.
The boredom most likely to drive you from her is the kind that makes you feel that she is holding you back, slowing you down: that you have, in a word, outgrown her. If the last year or last couple of years has seen you move up in the world and become open to new possibilities and opportunities and seen her remain attached to old and outmoded ways of thinking, then your relationship may be doomed in 2018
She may already be thinking of breaking up with you. If she asks questions such as “why are you with me?”, “Where do you see this relationship going?”, “Do you ever think you’d be happier with some else?” you should take heed. These questions may arise from genuine curiosity. In my experience, they most often result from doubts about the relationship and a subtle attempt to find grounds that will put part of the responsibility for ending it on you.
Women who want to get married or want to cement the relationship through cohabitation often use the holidays to offer ultimatums to their significant others. Such threats are couched in soft language such as wanting the relationship to “move forward” or a strong desire for a “serious commitment”. If you are not ready to make this kind of move and she definitely is, then chances are your relationship will not survive 2018.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2016/04/04/girl-leaving-belongings-on-purpose/
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.