Why does she leave her stuff at your place?
The girl you are seeing is making a habit of leaving her personal belongings at your place or in your car. What does it mean? There are a few reasons she may be leaving her stuff at your place, and I am sorry to tell you that it is not because she is forgetful.
The stage and type of your relationship dictates what is reasonable for her to leave at your house. In a long-term relationship where she stays over fairly often, it is totally normal for her to have a spare set of toiletries at your place, but she should not be bringing her whole wardrobe over. In a very casual relationship, she should not be leaving even a spare toothbrush at your house.
It’s an excuse to see you again
You have not quite had the “what are we” talk yet. Your relationship is not on a schedule; you contact each other only when you feel like seeing each other. You can see why she is feeling a little insecure. At any moment, you could decide you are not going to see her again. Leaving her belongings at your house means that she has an excuse to come back. This impedes your ability to do the slow fade. When it is apparent you have lost interest, she will insist on picking up her things- and she will try to hook up with you again.
She wants to move in
Leaving her stuff around, especially valuables, can be an indicator that she wants to live with you. You should consider this a strong possibility if her living circumstances are unpleasant or tenuous. If you notice her stuff accumulating over time, it is because she is trying to move in by stealth.
To warn other women
She suspects you are seeing other women. Strategically leaving items such as makeup and clothing is a signal to other women. She may intend it as a warning, or it may be a sign for other women to back off. These signals are not meant for you, and you may not even notice the clump of long hair in the shower or the underwear under your bed.
The solution to her leaving stuff at your place
You may feel flattered that she is so into you that she is marking your house as her territory. However, in most cases it is a manipulative behavior that should be nipped in the bud. If she wants you to stop seeing other women, she should have a conversation with you rather than leave her used make-up wipes in your bathroom.
Simply do not let her leave her belongings at your house. When she is leaving, do a quick look around your place to see if she “forgot” anything. Any items that you miss should be returned to her when you see her next. Do not acknowledge the possibility that she is leaving items on purpose- instead, act as if she is absent-minded. Do this consistently and she will soon realise that she cannot get away with this behavior.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/