Online Dating: Avoiding The Catfish And Landing The Trophy
Finding a date online is an adventure to say the least. There are women galore and endless opportunities. No matter what kind of woman you are looking for, she is out there. They range from fast, horny women to slow, methodical women intent on locking down their future.
But, no matter what type of woman you are looking for, there are still challenges to actually moving past on-site messaging. Dating sites still cause issues for many men when trying to land a woman. If you are still batting below average, it is a good idea to know why.
Know this, it isn’t always your fault. There are factors in play that can slow your online game. Many are not within your control; however, once you know what to look for, your average will increase.
The first thing to do is have your ducks in a row. You have probably heard this over and over, so I will keep it brief. Your profile should not suck!
Your online profile should be informative. Show your attributes, don’t just say it; if you are funny, tell a story. Stating positive traits sets expectation, while showing traits validates them.
Keep your pictures above board and representative. Stick to well-dressed, PG-13 images and showcase the man, not the boy.
Be honest. Unless you are just bullshitting your way to sex, keep it real. Lying about being a CIA spy is a tough one to pull off. Most men don’t succeed with the “lie” game.
Ultimately, do what you have been told. Keep your profile sane and appealing or she will lose interest at hello.
Okay, so you have your shit together on your profile. Now to find a woman.
The problem with finding a woman online is not about availability. Unless you are on a lame, scam site with only ten women showing in your metropolitan area, there are plenty of profiles to shop.
But, are the profiles real? This is where you need to think upstairs, not downstairs. If you are looking with your dick, you are going to find frustration.
Truth is, people want your money. Whether it is the owner(s) of the site, promotors of other sites, cam girls, escorts, or a dozen other cons, not all profiles are real or safe even.
To best determine if a profile is legit, look for warning signs.
What is her name? You can often see immediate issues by the woman’s name versus the writing of her profile. If the profile has broken English (English is not native tongue), but her name is “American” (Lucy Davis for example), something is up.
What do her pictures say differently from her profile? If her pictures are racy, but the profile is looking for a “long-term relationship”, you might be dealing with a catfish. Scammers will try to lure you visually, but don’t sync the profile info to match.
How minimal is her information? Real women are usually good about putting a strong profile together. When her information is mostly “Ask me” or less, you will probably waste your time with an opening message. And if she doesn’t have a pic posted, a whole world of unknowns opens.
Does she love adventures? Watch for key words that point to gold diggers, escorts or cam girls. Here are some profile tidbits that can point these women out:
One trick I use when looking at profiles is to search “newest members.” You can look at the profiles in this search and get an idea if the site is allowing questionable members. The new member profiles from scammers come in groups. You will see women with similar traits, images and even personal info. The profile info is usually the real teller. Quite often, you will see batches of new members with nearly identical personal info. Pay heed to this.
Look for inconsistencies throughout a profile. You can find them easily if you look. Primarily, look at static questions and compare those answers to manually entered info.
Now that you have sorted the profiles and have a target or two in mind, it comes down to an opening message. I won’t go into all the parameters about a great opening message. I will say this though, keep it real and invest more than two or three words. You aren’t stupid, so don’t shoot yourself in the foot by sending lame messages.
To minimize the time you spend on chasing, be willing to move on when you don’t get responses. This one thing kills most opportunities with women online.
Men love instant gratification. I think our proclivity for masturbation proves this. The problem is, instant gratification does not always apply with online pickups. Sure, some women are raring to go and quick to jump online to answer messages. They are few and far between though.
When you send a message to a woman, don’t expect immediate responses. By immediate, I mean within 48 hours. If you have an expectation that she should be responding quickly, few will meet it. You will need patience.
Attractive, available women on dating sites are getting a deluge of messages. You think you are the only one trying to get it? You aren’t, so you better have patience from the start. Unless she is very aggressive with watching her messages, it could be a couple of days before being seen.
If the site has the advantage of “read” receipts, you can know when she saw it. Otherwise, you will have to pace yourself. Do not start messaging again! At best, if you have not received a message in 72 hours (her 48-hour window plus a 24-hour buffer), send a follow up. DO NOT send more than one!
If you allow her plenty of time, send a follow up and still hear nothing, it probably isn’t going to happen. But, she may be out of town, sick or otherwise unavailable, and multiple messages from you are going to show you as desperate and pushy.
Online dating is a numbers game. You need to put yourself out there, but it is a good idea to know if she is real, or your messages fall on deaf ears. Even worse, they answer and try to reel you in to their scams. Don’t push with your messages by over-sending, and don’t push her for sex or meeting too fast. You are going to face a lot of “rejection” via unanswered messages. Don’t worry about it, keep putting up the numbers, and have the patience needed.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.