Why Your Tinder Matches Don’t Reply
Swipe right, swipe right, swipe left, rinse, repeat. Could the online dating world get any easier?
There isn’t much better than a ton of women at your fingertips and just a simple swipe gets the ball rolling. The one thing that is better is when you get a new notification: “You’ve Matched with…!”
Now things are heading your way. Matches are coming at you. Now all you must do is break the ice. Say something that is going to grab her attention. You type feverishly and off goes the message. Now the waiting begins.
And the waiting continues. Might as well swipe a few more, land a few more matches, and off go more messages. And the waiting goes on. And on. And on.
Slowly you begin to realize, nobody is replying to you. What the hell!? You matched. You liked them, and they liked you, so what’s up? Tinder must be broken! Is something wrong with your account maybe? Why are they not talking back!?!
Does this sound like frustrations you’ve had with Tinder? It is quite common. Men and women are sitting around wondering why their matches aren’t replying, every day. To be honest, there are quite a few reasons why the replies aren’t coming in; some you can’t control, and some you can.
Before you can fix whatever is wrong in your matching, let’s understand the things you cannot fix. Remember, people are human, so chaos will ensue, often.
There are some simple reasons that can prevent a Tinder match reply.
She was drunk – Women drink sometimes. Some women who drink, swipe while under the influence. You may have been matched with José Cuervo without realizing it. She probably won’t reply once sober.
Oops – It could have been a simple swipe right that should have been a swipe left. If she doesn’t correct that mistake, you will be left hanging in the message box.
Numbers game – She swipes everyone right, sees who bites, then sorts through replies. Sounds like a very male thing to do. Maybe she will get around to your reply or not, who knows?
Feeding her ego – She may not be looking for anyone but strokes her ego by the number of matches she gets on dating sites. She probably has a man, who obviously is not “feeding” her ego. Sad but true.
Did I do that? – If someone else does her swiping (friend, family), you may have been a casualty of the “matchmakers” who don’t really know what she is looking for. Sorry, but she is more critical of those matches.
She isn’t on Tinder – Have you considered that she stopped using the account? Maybe you are matching with a ghost. Maybe she found Mr. Right. Happens all the time.
As you can see, there are multiple reasons for a lack of reply that you cannot control. It happens, so deal with it. You might get lucky and she just hasn’t waded through to your message yet, and a reply may be forthcoming.
Just don’t hold your breath. Instead, focus on what you can fix and get some replies.
Okay, now to get an idea of where you stand. Look, it is easy to make a mistake in your profile or in your messaging. There are some common mistakes men make on dating sites. If you aren’t careful, you can present something or say something that shuts down her desire for a match.
If you are not thinking from a woman’s perspective, there might be something putting her off that she missed when she matched with you. Here are some profile errors that men often make.
Pictures – Are your pictures really representing you well? Sure, the first one she saw might have interested her, but once she matches and sees the rest… Look at your pictures from her point of view. Are they mature? Do you look desperate? Do they indicate that you probably only want one thing? Keep them simple and show some personality, just make it the right personality.
Your info – Does your “About You” information suck? Matches often happen by sight. Many times, she doesn’t read your bio until you’ve matched. Men can easily say too little or too much in their profile. Again, is it mature? Is it just a one-liner: “Just trying this out” or “Seeing what’s out there.” She needs a little more to go on, but not a rousing tale about your latest drunk night with your bros.
The other issue you may be facing is inadequate message quality. Let’s be honest here, men are going to play the numbers game, and we get lazy. Raise your hand if you have ever copy and pasted the same message to a half a dozen matches.
In case you didn’t know, many women can pick up on this kind of thing. And, the rest are not excited by “Hey, how’s it going” or “You are hot, let’s chat.”
Women want to “feel” appreciated and wanted, even if it is just a Tinder match that goes nowhere. She wants to know you will invest a little more in the conversation. If you are one-lining all your matches and hoping for significant returns, you are fooling yourself. It doesn’t matter what you are looking for, you need to express more than a one-line, cold opener.
But, don’t hit her with desperation either. Long, sob stories about your life and/or heartbreaks will turn her off quick. All that stuff can be talked about later. Stick to confident introductions and speak to her based on her profile or pictures. Try and find common ground to speak from.
And, above all else, even if you are just looking for a hookup, don’t go there in your opening message. Be realistic. Even if she is down for a hookup, she doesn’t want you to assume that or jump on her right away. Talk to her casually and let it be her decision to hook up.
Tinder is not a perfect science, though it is getting there. You cannot control everything that happens. However, if you are real with yourself, build a smart profile and speak to her like she wants, you will have more success with matches. Take your matches more seriously, and they will get more serious with you.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.