Gentlemen And The One-Night Stand
Casual sex is awesome. You know it is true. How many times have you fantasized about taking a woman right there in the grocery store or over that park bench she is sitting on?
Sounds super sleazy, right? Like you are some sort of pervert? Well, you can relax, because you aren’t. Though most won’t admit it, women love it too. Sadly, they are conditioned to repress it, much like we are, but for different reasons. You know, proper lady behavior and shit.
However, hooking up is okay if it happens naturally. All it takes is the right attitude, approach and guiding her to what you both already want.
Before we get to the goods on what will land her, let’s get some no-no’s out of the way first.
Most hookups are going to happen during a night out. So, as a cautionary piece of advice, don’t get drunk, and don’t try to get her drunk. Trying to pull off a successful hookup while drunk is going to fail in some way. For you, you won’t be able to maintain your composure and you will screw your game up. For her, being drunk can lead to irrational behavior. For instance, being gung-ho for sex as you are driving to her place, but suddenly changing her mind right before walking in the door.
Also, don’t get it into your head that hooking up for casual sex makes you a sleazy guy. Yeah, there are some sleazy guys out there getting laid, but they are scraping the bottom of the barrel at closing time. That’s not you. You are the nice guy, and if the hookup doesn’t happen, you will still give her another chance (get her number!).
Finally, don’t talk about sex, or be overly suggestive when talking to her. If you are handling yourself well, it is probably going to happen. Don’t broadcast what you want. And don’t be cliché about it either with “Your place or mine?” lines. Inviting her up should be about coffee or something safe, not sex. If you put it out there that sex is the goal, she must confront that, and she will usually decide to wait. Be patient and composed.
Okay, now to the Do’s that can land a fun hook up. Remember, these things are important and will make her want to get down to the business of having fun.
If you are planning to hook up at your place, clean up after yourself. In other words, don’t leave evidence laying around from previous scores. If she gets the hint that she is just going to be a mark on the bedpost, she will beat feet out of there. Make sure you have a nice, cozy and comfortable place to play.
You will also want to get to know her a bit. Establish an emotional bond. Tell her some personal things about yourself and draw the same from her. You want her to feel something more than used. If she can’t remember anything about you but the sex, she feels like a slut the next day. And, because she has probably felt this way before, her defenses may be guarding against that. Break down those barriers by being real and connecting. Women like sex with ‘comfortable’ men.
Next, be the leader and make the night fun. Look, whether you meet her in a bar or a laundromat, make the time before the sex fun too. Give her something to remember from the day/night, besides the sex. When she feels like you are ‘bonding’ doing fun things, her inhibitions will subside. Keep the mood positive, be flirtatious and take the lead.
Finally, be about your best sex game. While one-night stands are fun, two or three-night stands can be fun as well. Your goal should be to blow her mind with great sex. If you do, she will want more. Of course, you may not want to see her again, but knowing that she is available for more fun is not a bad thing. What man doesn’t like pussy on speed dial? And don’t forget about word of mouth. If you followed your game and the sex was great as well, her friends are going to hear about it. Need I say more?
To be clear, none of this shit matters if you are not a gentleman. If she doesn’t feel safe and secure with you, it won’t happen. Men who respect women with manners and gentlemanly behavior get laid. Men who don’t are the vultures circling at closing time.
Keep a clear head and be interested in her. Open doors, pull out chairs and speak well. Be dominant but not domineering. Women want a man to lead her to sex, not drag her into it by her panties. Give her a night, and a man, to remember.
You will need patience in most situations, though occasionally it can happen very fast. I have had hookups that took all day to land, while others happened five minutes after meeting. Some women are just readier to go than others, but with the right guidance, most are willing.
But, with that patience comes realism. If it isn’t going to happen, figure it out sooner than later. Don’t spend all your time on something you know won’t end in a hookup. There is nothing wrong with playing the field if you aren’t a jerk about it.
About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.