How To Get A Busy Woman To Make Time For You
The sisters are busy nowadays—as well they should be. Despite the great reckoning that is going on right now with sexual harassment and abuse in the workplace, there has never been a better time to be a woman. Education, independence, and the highest offices of industry and government are open to them, and many women are as determined and as focused on rising to the top as their male colleagues.
These same women nevertheless have needs. Whether the girl you’re into is an entrepreneur, a university lecturer, a freelance journalist, a trial lawyer, or a head chef, she still wants to be flirted with, held, and made love to.
Never let a woman get away with telling you that she is too busy for a relationship. On this point, you ought to take the sage advice of the immortal Alex “Hitch” Hitchens:
She may indeed have a lot on her plate, but it does not mean that she doesn’t want to be romanced. If you met her at a bar or a club or through a friend and you hit it off, she may really want to see you again. But you are in competition with all the other persons, projects, deadlines, and crises that crowd her life. And because she doesn’t know you that well, you will have a lower priority.
Yes, this can be a rather frustrating if not dishonorable position to be in—especially if you felt that spark when the two of you met and you really like her—but do not fret: there are ways of getting a busy woman to make time for you.
Here are a few tips:
Busy women tend to be achievers, and they are surrounded most of the time by other achievers or wannabees. They respect strength, competence, and the willingness to think and act independently. They hate whiners, slackers, time-wasters, and beggars.
You may pine for her all you want to yourself, but if she senses that you are desperate for attention she will blow you off.
Do not complain when she keeps canceling dates. Do not send her snarky and aggressive text messages. Be witty, humorous, and charming when she puts you off yet again for something that came up at the last minute. Show her that you are still interested, but do not have to wait around until she gets back to you.
In general, busy people don’t like surprises. Not necessarily because they are control freaks—though many of them are—but because the unexpected often adds more complexity to an already complex life.
However, a small thoughtful gesture can make her day, and perhaps even get her to re-think her priorities when it comes to you. Don’t do anything that will embarrass her in front of her colleagues. But dropping by her office when you know she has a free moment with a box of chocolates or her favorite espresso blend will put a smile on her face. And offering to cook her dinner one night at her place, so that she can continue to work, will get you more than that.
If you have managed to go out on a few dates and you still seem to be her last priority, the last thing you should do is lose your cool or pressure her. Dating a busy woman requires sacrifice on your part. You cannot expect her to completely re-arrange her life around your needs, and you will need to put up with delays, cancellations, and re-scheduling.
But if you want her to make more time for you, then you must avoid being a source of stress. Don’t do a Marcus Graham:
If she has had a long day and was forced to cancel on you, offer to bring over take-out and settle for a night-in cuddled up on the couch with Netflix. If she has had a tough week, invite her over for lunch at your place or buy her a Spa treatment somewhere.
What the woman needs is rest and relaxation. If she begins to associate you with these things, she will want to spend more time with you.
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.