When She Says She Is Too Busy For a Relationship
Is she too busy for a relationship, or just too busy to be in a relationship with you?
Just like some other great let-downs such as “I don’t want to ruin our friendship”, “there’s too much history between us” or “I just want to be single”, saying “I’m too busy for a relationship” is a nice way of telling you she’s not interested. It is true that being too busy can be problematic, just like ruining a friendship is often an important concern. However, if she was really interested in you, she would decide that it’s worth a shot despite the risks. Put another way; if you were Leonardo DiCaprio, she would suddenly find the time to date you.
You know her well enough to know that her life is a rollercoaster of work or study commitments, so you think she is being honest enough when she says she is too busy for you. Perhaps that is why she has decided to use it as her excuse- she knows you’ll believe it, and drop the issue. Whether or not she is actually busy is next to irrelevant. What you should understand from her saying she is too busy for a relationship is not that she’s busy; it should be that she doesn’t want to be with you.
It is remotely possible that she is genuinely too busy to be seeing you. In a minority of cases where this excuse is used, it is because she knows she will not be able to invest much time with you and wants you to know this from the outset. She will make it obvious that she is interested in you. If you’re very much keen on her, you could suggest compromising how often you see each other. Or, if it’s not worth the bother of trying to date her when it won’t fit in with her life, you can be sure that she will keep in contact with you so dating is a possibility in future.
If you’re not sure if she’s using being busy as an excuse, or if she genuinely wants to spare you the difficulties of being in a relationship where you have to fit into a schedule, let the ball reside in her court. It’s up to her to contact you if she wants to pursue a relationship later on. When she trots out the line of being too busy for you, tell her that you understand, and to give you a call when her life cools down. Don’t make a special effort to stay in contact with her. She will find that incredibly overbearing, so it will not give you a better chance of getting together with her. It also shows her that you’re not going to wait around for her, so if she really is interested, she needs to tell you so.
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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/