What To Text A Girl You Just Met
Men chase numbers all the time. During a typical night out, a lot of men will see how many phone numbers they can pull. But, is this the right approach?
No, it isn’t. The problem comes when it is time to reach out. Most men decide to text and really have no idea which girl they are texting from the night out. This is because they didn’t invest some time to establish anything to move forward with. Quantity over quality will normally lead to wild goose chases.
I understand the reasoning. Many men see getting laid or going out as a numbers game. Ultimately though, the truth is, the numbers game is rooted in a lack of confidence. It’s like a hunter using a shotgun instead of a rifle because he doesn’t think he can hit the target with one bullet.
If you are going to text a girl, and get results, you need a little setup before you key in that first text.
Above all else, you need to be honest with yourself. The truth is, great dates and great sex are better than mediocre wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sex. Not to say a random hookup isn’t fun, but this isn’t just about random hooking up. This is about getting a response to your texts.
If you are going to meet a girl, go further than just a number. Talk a bit and try to establish a little common ground. This is what you need for texting, otherwise, you are just throwing out a random hello that is probably going to be ignored. If you don’t establish something, you will be forgettable. This forces you to fight against yourself, and hope you get somewhere.
Here is a summarized version of how most men interact when getting numbers:
Him: “Hey, what’s up? My name’s Joe. What’s your name?”
Her: “Hi, I’m Sheri. I saw you checking me out. You have a great smile.”
Him: “Thanks! You are really hot. You want to get go out sometime?”
Her: “Um, sure. I guess we could go out.”
Him: “Awesome! What’s your number?”
And that’s nearly all there is to the conversation. But, do you see her second response? Notice how her interest dropped? This is common when men overlook her needs. She needs to feel like you are interested in her, not her number.
Talk to her for a few minutes. Don’t ask for her number right away, but don’t wait until the end of the conversation either. Get it during an “energetic” part of the conversation. And don’t ask; make it a command. At a high point in the conversation, hand her your phone – phone app open – and say, “Give me your number and we can go/get together for …” Keep it simple and keep it direct. If you are piquing her interest with a brief conversation, it should go smoothly.
Also, once you are done talking and say goodbye, don’t let her catch you running the same game on another. Keep it lowkey if you talk to someone else and get their number. They will notice if you aren’t and your chances dwindle.
When it comes time to reach out to her, there is an old mindset that can get in your way – how long do you wait before texting? Most men will say wait 24-48 hours. This is not a great idea. If you have ever watched any TV crime dramas, you know that after 24-48 hours it can be hard to get a lead on the criminal. Women are the same.
Text her that night, roughly one to two hours after meeting. You don’t need to strike up a conversation. You simply want her to know she is “on your mind.” Just send something simple like: “Hey Sheri, it was great meeting you tonight. This is Joe, the guy with the great smile. (emoji)”
It is a quick, light text that gets you past the texting “hump.” It makes sure she has your number and shows you have a fun, playful side. You can almost guarantee she will respond. This gets the conversation started. This is what makes texting awesome, as the conversation is self-paced and ongoing once started.
Now, what about the next time to text? We will assume that the above text was just a quick, back-and-forth ice-breaker, not a conversation. Remember this, women don’t like to be kept waiting. Once you send the initial text, you are committed to carrying on the conversation (which is what you want anyway). If you wait too long, she is going to think you were a flash in the pan.
Reach out the next day around mid-morning to lunchtime. Keep it light still. Texting is not a great place to have deep conversations, plus she probably has her own things going on. Your best approach is to be a little flirty and make sure she knows you have been thinking about her since you met. Remember, you are establishing importance and trust.
“Good morning Sheri. I was thinking about last night and now I can’t get this smile off my face.” Then reference something you have in common that came about during your conversation.
Flirty and light is the key. Make sure she feels comfortable with you; that texting with you is a “happy place.” When you reach a strong enough level through the back-and-forth, you can pursue asking her out. It is important that you are “reading” her from her texts. If she is playful as well, you are golden. If she is busy with her day and texting “slowly,” avoid asking until you are in an engaged dialogue.
She may not be able to commit to the date you ask for, so make sure to have 2-3 options. If she won’t land on any because of “other plans” or being “busy,” you could be better off letting her go. However, if she says yes, move into setting the plans in stone (try to keep it within 2-3 days away). Make sure to get the where and when worked out, and who is driving or just meeting somewhere. Focus on making it comfortable for her.
Once you are done with setting up the date, feel free to flirt some more. No deep conversations between asking and the actual meetup. Stay light, flirty and friendly. Don’t overwhelm with texting in the days before you meet but keep her interested by “touching base” and chatting some.
If you handle it right, texting can be an easy way to keep your dating calendar active. You must avoid the numbers game and make sure you are landing quality girls. Remember, you can get twenty numbers in a night and land 1-2 dates, or you can get 4-5 numbers in a night and land 4-5 dates. It is still a numbers game, but you are maximizing the numbers.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About robertbrasher A creative writer for many years, with experiences in many areas. People fascinate me, and stoke my desire to educate the masses on the madness we can and do create in this world. Through writing, we pass knowledge; through understanding, we pass tradition.