How To Make The Most Of A Chance Encounter
A bar, a club, the gym, the office, a party, an introduction by mutual friends or family members—these are the most common ways that lovers meet. You may look at and flirt with a random stranger on the street or someone you meet during your lunch break or while you are at your favorite café, but you can rarely get much further than that. Most women do not trust that easily, and they are reticent to give out their personal information to a complete stranger—no matter how cute they think he is.
But there are occasions when this does happen. Some romances begin with a chance encounter: your eyes meet, and there is a magnetism that draws the two of you together.
Meeting someone may have been the last thing on your mind. You were certainly not dressed for the occasion, and your mind was elsewhere when she walked in. But then something unexpected and delightful occurred. You could not stop looking at one another. You were both reduced to a momentary state of adolescence as you peaked occasionally to see if the other person was looking and broke into awkward embarrassed smiles when you discovered that they were, but you were as well.
You went over to break the awkward tension and found the flow of conversation easy and satisfying. At the end of the conversation, you exchanged numbers.
You have realized that the situation is not as straightforward as it seemed at first. It is not akin to meeting a girl at a bar, a club, or a gym. This setting at least identifies a common interest. You can send a text that begins with something related to it. But to have met and become quite smitten with a complete stranger in a random place leaves you with almost nothing to build on.
All is not lost. Here are a few tips on how to make the most of a chance encounter:
It may seem counter-intuitive, but your first text should be about you. If she is really into you, then she will want to know more about you. Send her something that amplifies an interest or hobby you told her about. If the two of you discussed favorite films, books, or music, send her the name of the creator or title of one of yours. It will lead to a longer text-message conversation, and advance the “getting to know you” phase of the romance.
Unless you can sense things are moving faster than you hoped, you should assume she wants to take it slow. Ask her to lunch or out for a late afternoon coffee. She will appreciate the fact that you can sense her desire to take her time, which will actually encourage her to trust you even more.
Facebook is the death of romance. Don’t look her up, and don’t send her a friend request. You don’t need to see what she gets up to and the people she hangs out with. And she doesn’t need to see the various posts and comments made by your friends and ex-girlfriends. Nor does she need to see the pictures in your photo album, some of which you regret posting but have not gotten around to taking down.
Leave Facebook out of it for now.
She will find it too forward and just a little bit weird and conceited. Even if they aren’t dick pics, your crush will not take kindly to receiving them. Besides, it is better to let her imagination do its own work. Leave her to think hard about what you look like. Let her dream a little. This will make your second encounter even more intense than the first.
You should also leave open the possibility of playing the long game. Here is some advice on how you might do that: https://www.tsbmag.com/2015/08/12/3-rules-to-playing-the-long-game/
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About Christopher Reid Chris was born in Washington, D.C. and lives in Britain. He works as a blogger, essayist, and novelist. His first book, Tea with Maureen, has just been published.